“I’m not one for holding my head down,” says SueZie Hawkes.
That’s for sure.
She shared her transition from Ian to SueZie in a very public manner — on Fox13. The surgeon working on her gender reassignment was aware she was writing a book about her experience, and when producers approached the doctor for a story on insurance coverage for transitioning, he introduced them to SueZie. Once they met her, they decided to focus the story entirely on her and her family.
“People see me,” says SueZie, “it’s almost like they see gold.”
Equality Florida’s Gina Duncan says that SueZie’s varied background “brings a powerful message." She’s international (a British expat), corporate (she’s a master data analyst for Coca-Cola in Brandon) — and lesbian. She and her wife, Cheryl, met in an online chat room in 1997 when SueZie was still living as Ian.
The first thing that attracted Cheryl was Ian’s screen name — “Pillow Talk,” à la the old Rock Hudson/Doris Day romcom.
“Omigod, I love that movie,” says Cheryl, who looks a bit like Ellen Barkin. “After that it was her honesty and humor.” Ian traveled to the U.S. in 2000 and the couple wed shortly thereafter.
“It was an honest relationship from day one,” says SueZie. “Cheryl was very aware” that her new spouse was transgender. Now that SueZie, 52, has fully transitioned into a fabulously zaftig broad — a process that began with electrolysis and counseling in 2009 and continued through surgery in 2014 — she jokes that Cheryl has become “a lesbian by attrition.”
Cheryl doesn’t know about that. “That’s her phrase. The thought of being a lesbian never even crossed my mind. I see SueZie as the same person, only happier. She smiles more. I love her regardless.”
Or, as she put it in her interview for the Fox segment, “I didn’t marry her for her appendages.”
SueZie’s smile glows in that TV footage, especially when compared to photos of a dour-faced Ian. But her ebullience projects even over the phone. On the day we spoke (the Friday before the Orlando attacks), she was getting ready to take a trip back to the U.K. to change the name on her birth certificate — and to visit with her ex-wife. Yes, Ian was married to June before Cheryl, and now both women are equally supportive of SueZie.
“I am blessed with two of the most understanding women on this planet!”
SueZie related an anecdote that sums up her bigger-than-life appeal:
“Cheryl said to me as I was cooking dinner one night, ‘Not many women would stay.’ ‘You know what?’ I answered. ‘Any women who would be with me would!’”According to SueZie, Cheryl replied, “That’s what I love about you — you have such a huge ego.” (That’s what Cheryl remembers saying, too.)
SueZie has conquered some of the hurdles facing transgender individuals by sheer force of personality.
In 2014, she was far enough along in her transition that she felt she had to share it with her boss at Coca-Cola, who said, “You don’t have to tell me anymore about it.” But, she replied, “I kinda do — it’s going to be obvious.”
One day, when she showed up in full feminine garb, “I totally floored them. They thought it was a theme day from one of the other buildings” in the Coca-Cola complex.
The question of restrooms did come up. “I said to my HR director, ‘I will carry on using the guys’ restroom till it gets to a point where it becomes uncomfortable for someone.’” As “all the little extra female cues” began getting stronger, startled guys would come into the restroom and walk out again. “I stand 6'7" in heels — they’d think they were in the wrong room.”
Finally, she said she didn’t really want to use the men’s room anymore.
“I told them I could go home, anywhere you like, or you could even get a Port-a-Potty and call it a Trans-Port-a-Potty, with the tag line ‘For those who give a crap.’”
All along, she’s used humor to get her message across. That message — in media appearances and in the book and website Desperately Seeking SueZie — is, simply, “letting America know it’s OK. It’s not all that bad out there, it’s not that good either, but it’s not that bad. I wanted to show America we’re normal people living amongst you.”
And the best way to do that, she says, is to hold your head high.
“People want to get aboard in an energetic environment, not gloom and doom. Be proud of who you are!”
SueZie and Cheryl have a 14-year-old son who’s “extremely proud,” says SueZie, an emotion that’s evident in the Fox footage. “I prepped my son for this in lots of little ways.” If other kids make wisecracks or ask him if he’s gay, too, he knows to follow what could be called The Rule of SueZie:
“Smile back and say whatever.”
