Readers ask questions on sulfites and bottle-opening, plus a slap on the wrist for potty mouthing.
Sulfites, Schmulfites
Jerry writes: When I enjoy wines in foreign countries (i.e., no sulfites added) I don't get a headache. But the wines available here in the U.S. appear to all have sulfites added, which give me a headache. Outside of flying down to Santiago every so often to buy a case, do you have any suggestions (about) non-sulfite wines?
Unfortunately, loads of bullshit weigh down the topic of sulfites. Sulfur, a natural bacteria-fighter, frequently gets blamed for causing everything from chronic fatigue syndrome to headaches. But simple headaches don't equal sensitivity to sulfites. Sulfur is a natural byproduct of grapes and many other vegetal products, and the majority of wineries worldwide (they don't have to list it on the label outside the U.S.) add more sulfites during the fermentation process to inhibit bacteria growth. The FDA estimates that only 3 percent of people have a true sensitivity to sulfites, most of them asthmatics. Those who are really "sulfite sensitive" can rarely even tolerate "sulfite-free" wines, and exhibit difficulty with breathing and hives when exposed.
White wine has almost twice the amount of sulfites than red, so if you're getting headaches with only red wine, you're probably sensitive to the higher histamines or tannins in the red wine instead. Other foods that contain high levels of sulfur: french fries, instant potatoes and dried fruit. If you get a headache 12-24 hours after eating one these items, then you're probably sulfur-sensitive.
If you discover you're sensitive to sulfites, you should probably stick with sulfite-free organic wines, if at all. Some wineries to try: Amity Vineyards, Yorkville and Badger Mountain.
Shitty, Shitty, Bang, Bang
Neil wrote: I'm stunned … how stupid is your target audience? There is no reason for that adjective ("shitty, syrupy Rieslings" — July 17-23) in your column. Was it inserted by an editor, unknown to you? I can only hope. I'm sure that the thousands of winery principals whom I have met over the years would be very proud. To paraphrase Saturday Night Live: "Taylor, you ignorant slut." Unbelievable…
I didn't know alternative newsweekly readers could actually be offended by a shitty little curse word like "shitty." Besides, if you can call someone a "slut," how can you be childish enough to wet your pants over the word "shitty?" Corkscrew attempts to knock wine off its pedestal, and write words which appeal to the general public, instead of the pretentious verbiage peddled by the traditional wine press. And that's no shit. Drink to Your Health
Ray wrote: I want to start drinking a glass of red wine each day for health benefits. Trouble is, everything I have tried tastes like what I imagine shoe polish to taste like. It isn't because I've only tried cheap wine; some that I have tried are rated pretty high. Do you know of anything with the health benefits but tastes good? Does grape juice offer the same health benefits?
Regular consumption of wine has been linked to lowering cholesterol and preventing certain types of cancer, strokes and ulcers. Regular grape juice has only been found to contain antioxidant flavonoids that help with heart disease, not other ailments. You might try some of the nonalcoholic wines on the market. Or, if you'd like to board the buzz bandwagon, try some sweeter wines, such as Riesling or Gewurztraminer.
A Corkscrew-less Solution
Edward wrote: I read your article about smashing a bottle on a rock to open it. It is very simple to get a cork out of a bottle without a corkscrew. Gently bang the bottom of the bottle against a tree, holding the bottle parallel to the ground. After a minute or so, pressure builds in the bottle, pushing the cork right out of it. And do not hold the bottle pointing up, as this makes it much more difficult.
Yep. It works. After a few gentle taps on a tree, a slightly shook-up wine emerged quite nicely. Thanks for the tip. Won't ever have to quaff from shards of glass again.
E-mail Corkscrew at corkscrew@ creativeloafing.com, or fax 813-248-9999.
This article appears in Aug 21-27, 2002.