Meth woman strips naked in St. Pete park, is someone killing the Ybor roosters?

Happy not-Monday! Now let’s talk Monday.

Hey, did you hear the one about the woman arrested for stripping naked and running around St. Pete’s Bartlett Park because she thought she had a giant spider on her? Ah, meth.

SeaWorld Orlando is reportedly rebounding from those literal years of post-Blackfish bad press and public antipathy, and seeing an upswing in revenue and attendance. It just goes to show that some folks will overlook pretty much anything in the name of distracting their kids for eight hours while exhausting them at the same time. 

Yesterday’s report from WalletHub, Sh*t Happened’s go-to source for crunched numbers to make fun of, called Florida the 10th worst state in the nation for healthcare. Were the nine worse states all the southern states surrounding us? Dingdingdingding! (And also Oklahoma and Alaska.) It’s less like we’re terrible at healthcare, and more like we’re the victims of a blockade of terrible healthcare that won’t let any good healthcare trickle through.

And finally, one of Ybor City’s most famous roosters may have been murdered as the number of the birds in the area in general plummets. A cock joke seems insensitive, so we’ll just request that everybody fighting over whether the roosters should stay or go just leave the fucking birds alone and focus on finding a real issue to address. There are, oh, one or two of them out there.

This article appears in Aug 2-9, 2018.