Every touring musician's got 'em – those strange, humorous or flat-out frightening anecdotes from their time on the road. Here are a few interesting ones, courtesy of some veteran Tampa Bay musical journeymen.

Joe Kaiser
(The Sophomore Effort, Murder-Suicide Pact)
"We have a day off in Sao Paulo on our 2004 Brazilian Tour with The Sophomore Effort, so we spend it doing the usual off-day stuff, shopping, grubbing, etc. In the course of cruising the streets, we stop by this Internet café to check e-mail and update our website's tour diary. We shared two computers among the eight guys, so Brian [Roberts] and I were the first ones done. We're just hanging out, leaning against the wall, and I notice two hot girls eyeballing Brian and me, and it's more than the usual 'Hey look, it's the American tourists' eyeballing. The longer we stand there, the harder they seem to be checking us out, to the point it's almost uncomfortable.

So finally, the guys are finished checking their e-mail or downloading porn or whatever, and we leave. But we didn't leave alone. The two cuties are right behind us. We walk about two blocks, the girls still right behind us, and Jimmy [Reese] turns around, walks right up to them and says, 'How's it going, ladies?' Of course, he doesn't get too much of a reaction with the language barrier and all, but they just kept smiling! Luckily, Uira and Sergio, the local dudes from our label, help us out a bit with communication. Jimmy asks the girls if they would like to come hang out later at our hotel, which to our surprise they say yes, so Jimmy provides them with the phone number to our room, and tells them to call around 8 p.m. On the way back to the hotel, we laugh it off, thinking that they'll never call.

"So at 8 p.m. sharp, we get a call that there are two girls waiting for us in the lobby! We send Jimmy down to bring them up, and we also bring Uira and Sergio in to translate for us. The girls come into the room, and sit on the bed. Uira starts talking to them, and they exchange some words back and forth. Then, we see Uira rub his fingers together in front of her, and she says something back to him. Uira turns towards me and says, 'You found beeches.' Prostitutes. Ahhh, it makes total sense now! So we offer to pay them for their time, coming by and all, which they refuse, and leave. We've had many giggles about this one ever since."

Robert Anthony
(The Smoking Jackets, ex-The Casual T's)
"While The Casual T's were playing a round of dates in Louisville in the fall of '86, we stopped to get gas and snacks. This rather disheveled fellow lumbered toward me and snapped, 'Hey! Come here! I never DID meet Victor Mature!'

(Victor Mature was a well-known B-Movie actor in the '40s and '50s whom I superficially resemble.)

"After a round of guffaws from the guys, we told Casual T's singer Pat Puckett's brother John about the episode. Oddly, he knew exactly who we were talking about. See, Victor Mature was a native of Louisville, and the vagabond in question would come to the post office where John worked all the time, bearing packages addressed to "Victor Mature, Hollywood CA," and asking if anyone knew Victor or had seen him around."

Frank Lacetena
(The Sophomore Effort)
"On our second Slap of Reality U.S. tour, we weren't exactly doing the best financially. A few days, we were reduced to finding what we could in dumpsters behind bakeries in State College, PA, as opposed to our usual ration of whatever you can buy for three bucks per day. Day-old Danish – not too shabby! Of course, that was coupled with the occasional shower consisting of diving into a nearby lake or river, and sleeping six to a van outside, in the freezing Montana countryside. Good times."

Hugh T. Williams
(Sparky's Nightmare, Dank, Mariola)
"A few years ago I was scheduled to do a short tour of Japan, but things didn't work out as planned. While I was trying to get through Customs, a Japanese officer found a good-sized portion of marijuana. I was arrested and held for about a week before I was released. I was lucky that some guards were nice enough to let me have a guitar, they even requested 'Yesterday,' and I was happy to play it. I paid a rather large fine and was let go, but it would be awhile before I was allowed into Japan again.

"The kicker is, it turns out my old mate John's wife had a cousin who was a Customs guard, and she called him and told him I would be carrying contraband! I had been showing up at his apartment in New York and trying to get him to write songs again with me. The wife and I had never really gotten along, and she wanted me to leave him alone.

"Not the funniest story, but still quite an experience!"

This article appears in Feb 2-8, 2005.