According to investigators, Natasha Smith in Dania Beach accidentally drove over her 3-yr-old in the driveway, and then, panicking, thought the thing to do was back up (like maybe that would be a do-over if she went in the opposite direction), but, obviously, that just made things worse. (Mom said the car was moving, but no one was driving, certainly not her.) Also, in Miami, a 4-yr-old boy, riding unbelted, fell out of an unclosed door as his mom Mayra Lozano-Alvarez made a turn, and another car ran over him. [Miami

Herald] [[WPLG-TV (Miami)]

Floridians With Worse Sex Lives Than You

A 49-yr-old man was arrested in Leesburg, charged with sexual assault against a 6-yr-old girl, but he said the little tart actually started it herself by kissing his ear and rubbing his crotch. Yr Editor would direct you to his picture, a marvel of gender-unspecific features and which was briefly displayed on WKMG-TV's website, but someone at the station realized that the alleged perp is related to the victim and so pulled it down. I'll keep trawling to see if I can find it. [WKMG-TV (Orlando)]

More Things To Worry About Today

An unidentified Spring Hill woman smashed into at least 12 mailboxes, and other things, on her way to work, but the breathalyzer called her clean; turns out she was driving while uncontrollably grieving for her just-dead cat [WKMG-TV (Orlando)] . . . . . The USF Bd of Trustees gave the equivalent

of one of those Circuit City price guarantees to president Genshaft, who presented them with evidence that university heads in other states were earning more than she, so she gets a raise [Tampa Tribune] . . . . . The NAACP in Fort Myers requested a portrait of Abe Lincoln in the county commissioners' meeting room to hang beside the portrait of Lee County namesake Robert E. Lee [Fort Myers News-Press], and state Sen. Anthony Hill of Jacksonville is campaigning for a new state song (to replace that Stephen Foster-Swanee River thing that refers to "darkeys" [Tampa Tribune] . . . . .

Miami Northwestern High, and Miami-Dade schools, stand accused of trying to cover up the sex incident involving star football player Antwain Easterling [The F State, 1-17-2007, 12-8-2006], and now an independent investigator has

filed a police complaint claiming that one (female) school official, so angered at his candid report, charged at him in the hallway, screaming, "I'm going to [intercoursing] get you!" [Miami Herald] . . . . . The (reportedly) world's smallest surviving preemie, Amillia Sonja Taylor, might leave Miami's

Baptist Children's Hospital soon, having grown to a paunchy 69 ounces and 15.5 inches long (after October exit readings, after 21 weeks in the womb, of under 10 in each category) (Seriously) [Associated Press via Florida Times-Union] . . . . . Tampa-based Checkers drive-ins' ad campaign featuring a cat rapping is so popular that the company appears unfazed that animal-rights people object to the ads' action message, which is for viewers to take photos of their own cats inside Checkers bags [BayNews9.com (Tampa)].

This article appears in Feb 21-27, 2007.