*That Miley Cyrus is growing up right before our eyes and real fast if I do say so myself. First it was the 20-something underwear model boyfriend and now a tattoo peeking out from beneath her underage boobage. It’s gonna look good in a few years when her career starts going down the tubes and they have to cut through it to put in her career-saving bags of silicone. Enjoy that sexy little tat while you still can Hannah Montana.

*Honestly, I could probably write an entire “This Week-ish” about America’s golden boy, Tiger Woods and the magical cornucopia of ho-tasticness (thanks to my friend Joey for that gem of a description) he has laid before us this holiday season. The mistress count is now up to “ten, ten STDed** mistresses. AH AH AH AH AH!” It’s a bit confusing, but luckily the Hollywood Examiner is here with a numbered list of all Tiger’s ladyfriends and a short description, so we can keep it all straight. Number four is my personal fave, because she worked at a Perkins and there is nothing that turns me on more than of those giant muffins in the glass case with fluorescent lighting. Clearly Tiger felt the same.

*The always unique, except when she is mimicking other people in photoshoots, Lindsay Lohan is, oh look at that, mimicking another star who is more famous than she is, in a photo shoot. Slipping nip, smoking cigarettes in bed and showing off her naughty parts, she is obviously channeling Kate Moss in the 90s. Thank God, because we did not get enough photographic evidence of that train wreck the first time around.

After the jump, more Lindsay photos, a James Franco mugshot, a new Mrs. Hogan and more….

This article appears in Dec 2-8, 2009.