Hockey Town! We're Hockey Town now. You say you don't like hockey? Get the hell out of Hockey Town, then, ya bastid. Oh, and some other things happened.

FRIDAY, MAY 20:

The Women's Conference of Florida commenced in downtown Tampa, bringing such high-profile speakers as Cheryl Strayed, Jill Abramson, Anna Maria Chavez and Randi Zuckerberg. If you hadn't heard about the conference, that's because you were only 79 percent as likely to do so as you would've had it been a men's conference! But seriously, it's very, very cool that our area hosted such an ambitious and potentially influential event.

A Friday-night prostitution sting operation along a stretch of US 19 in Pasco netted 19 arrests, including a retired Chicago cop. Personally, I'd just like to thank these dudes for not masturbating at a computer terminal in their local library branch. Also, gross.

SATURDAY, MAY 21:

Here is the worst, least informative story ever about a missing diver being rescued 30 miles off Egmont Key. I mean, yeah, we're glad the diver's OK and all, but come on, Times. Where's the shark-punching? Where's the tank's air guage slowly, inexorably tilting toward "Empty"? Where's Mark Wahlberg? (Ya gotta have Mark Wahlberg.)

Rays center fielder Kevin Kiermaier broke his hand in two places during the game his team eventually lost 5-4 to the Detroit Tigers. That sucks, but everyone is optimistic that he'll be able to rejoin the team and play again this season, as it should only take a few months to heal and baseball seasons are approximately 18 million centuries long.

SUNDAY, MAY 22:

And finally, the Lightning took it into overtime, again, to beat the Pittsburgh Penguins 4-3 and lead the Eastern Conference Finals series 3-2. We'd like to welcome two new sponsors to the NHL post-season: Xanax and prayer.

This article appears in May 19-26, 2016.