Yeah, yeah, it's a little late. Holiday madness and all that. Happy Friday from the ashes of Thursday's trashfire.
An 18-year-old was arrested and charged with DUI after he crashed into and totaled a Sarasota County sheriff's animal services van while driving without a valid license. Anybody who responds to this with "oh, those crazy kids make mistakes and get into all kinds of trouble" should be crotch-punched into sterility.
One of two shitheads being chased on foot by police after bailing out of a stolen car in Dover shot a dog as they ran through somebody's yard. What eats human flesh the slowest again?
A UPS contractor was fired and arrested after he was caught on video stealing the iPhone he'd delivered to a St. Pete Beach residence a couple of hours earlier. Sing it with me: There's alwaaaaaayyyyys a camerrrraaaaa…
And finally, how about a little good news: Remember that woman who helped out Clearwater cops during a DUI arrest back in November by wrangling the suspect's two little kids? She was given a Samaritan Award by the police yesterday, recognizing her for being the kind of person who sees a problem and offers to help, as opposed to, oh, I don't know, deciding to steal a car and shoot a dog. You are the true spirit of Christmas, Megan Andrews.
This article appears in Dec 14-21, 2017.