Good morning. In case you missed it, the world continues to end, one sad little newsbite at a time. Let's try and hurry it along.

FRIDAY, OCT. 7:

A 14-year-old St. Pete boy was arrested for saying he was going to shoot anyone at his school not wearing red. Bad: He claimed it was a joke. Worse: The story actually includes the sentence "The incident is not related to any clown sighting or postings."

A 68-year-old St. Pete caregiver was arrested for stealing more than $125K from a 94-year-old man. Perhaps she needed the money to cover losses to her own caregiver; also, perhaps someone under retirement age shoulda been involved in this situation somehow.

SATURDAY, OCT. 8:

New data links a rising rate of salmonella and other diseases to "urban farmers" keeping chickens without knowing shit about how to handle or care for them. QUIT KISSING YOUR CHICKENS, HIPSTERS. You've got a little listeria in your 'stache, there.

SUNDAY, OCT. 9:

Tampa Bay's wrong-way-driver problem continued as a Clearwater woman drove north for about three miles in the southbound lanes of U.S. 19 in northern Pinellas, causing a minor accident before being stopped and arrested for DUI, among other things. This holiday season, expect to overhear people telling their party hosts that "it's cool, I'm a little buzzed, but I'm not like wrong-way-driver drunk or anything."

A bully who advocates sexual assault debated an unpopular professional politician for the second time. It went about how we all expected it would.

And finally, The Main Street Electrical Parade warmed its last heart and scarred its last retina at Walt Disney World. It's now on the way back to its original home: a region of California famous for needing rolling blackouts to ease its rapacious power needs.

This article appears in Oct 6-13, 2016.