Dear Oracle,
This Venus in Retrograde has been brutal for me, and I’m really not OK. I’m looking for a serious relationship and have been for a long time, but I’ve had so many past (and current) partners who don’t want to commit to anything. I keep getting my heart broken by these dudes, and I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Why doesn’t anyone want to date me seriously? I know my worth, and I know I’m a giving and loving partner, but I just feel so beaten down. What do the cards suggest I do to fix this? —Retrograde Wreck
Cards: Four of Swords, Four of Wands, Nine of Wands (reversed), Knight of Cups, Three of Swords, Nine of Pentacles, Ten of Swords (reversed) Two of Swords
Dear Retro,
I am so sorry that you are in this position. I spent years in that same position, and I know that it is soul-crushing and it does make you believe that you must be at fault. But it might not be that simple. People who are giving and loving can attract lots of different people, including those who are vulnerable themselves and those who want to take advantage of them. It’s a wide net you’re casting; you’re bound to get some weird fish in there.
With the ego-removing Four of Swords, it’s clear this isn’t about you. You’re not doing something wrong; these are just not the partners. Paired with the homemaking Four of Wands, I do think you might need to take some time off of the dating game and really meditate and examine what it is you want—and heal from the heartbreak that has put you into this spot.
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The Nine of Wands, Knight of Cups, and Three of Swords together show that you have been put through an endurance test when it comes to relationships. The Nine of Wands is a card of both exhaustion and hope; it’s the final push to get over the hill. But if you have been pushing yourself, and pushing yourself and are only met with the heartbreak of the Three of Swords, then there is no relief. That is so incredibly depleting, both emotionally and physically. Heartbreak and disappointment—both types of grief– can literally wipe you out. The rest from the Four of Swords very well could mean physical rest as well as an emotional one.
I don’t know if it was a singular Knight of Wands that got you here or a multitude of them, but this heartache is deep. If you’re able to, talking with a therapist might be beneficial to you. With all the Swords and Wands in the spread representing your mind and soul, I do wonder if some physical treatment might help. Maybe that’s massage, acupuncture, somatic movement, yoga, anything that grounds you in your body and can replenish your physical energy.
(Also, maybe see a Western doc for a blood test if you find yourself still depleted.)
You might be currently running on empty, but you will be able to make it through and revitalize yourself.
The Nine of Pentacles is a card of abundance—very much the card of the loving and generous partner—as well as a card of self-worth and self-sufficiency. You absolutely have what you need to heal and you do, in fact, have “the goods.” You know your worth is high, as you should. You have enough energy and love to go around and care for yourself and a partner (but that partner needs to give back).
But it can be hard to see that if you are currently at your rock bottom. The Ten of Swords is the intellectual end of the story. Whatever you were fighting for is gone, it’s over, you’ve lost. This can be a very devastating card, especially if it appears due to betrayal. It can feel like there is no hope out there.
Alcoholics Anonymous uses the term “hitting bottom” a lot in their literature and in meetings, and it’s seen as a necessary step to rebuild a life in a completely new way. It’s the sincere desire to never hit that level of pain again that prompts the change. The Ten of Swords can be the same way. It can force our hand: we have to confront what is causing this extreme pain. There is hope at rock bottom. With the only direction being up, even small steps are progress.
With all of this paired, I do think there will be a big shift in your life and how you move through it. I don’t exactly know what that would look like, but that change is on the horizon.
And as we get to the last card, it’s important to see where you’ve come from. The Two of Swords is a card of balance. It’s the head and heart, bravery and caution, intellect and gut feeling. The key to this Two is to not chop your head off: don’t go back to that rock bottom and don’t stay forever in your Four of Swords sarcophagus. Instead, you will walk that tightrope between hope and caution and, knowing your worth, ideally begin seeing people who also know it.
(Where to find these people? I’m not sure. I’ve personally had better luck with Magick than The Apps, but you do what you’re comfortable with.)
Right now, however, you need to recover and replenish. This is deep work, and it will take time. Again, if it’s financially feasible, I would encourage you to see a therapist and/or book a massage, and really be kind to yourself. You will eventually build up your stores and be able to step out into that light for love to find you.
And I sincerely hope it finds you and brings you someone who is not only not a dipshit, but kind and loving and generous too.
Take care, my dear. I wish you the absolute best of luck.
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This article appears in Oct. 22 – 28, 2026.
