Dear Roxxie:
I want to have sex but my boyfriend wants to cuddle. Am I fat or is he fucking someone else?
—Please Fuck Me
Dear PFM,
Wow. That's a lot of insecurity wrapped in neurosis. Let me ask you two questions: One, if you think you're with a guy who would fuck somebody else, why are you with him and two, how the hell am I supposed to know if you're fat? And, in my experience, guys don't care so much about the size of a naked woman in front of them as they do the "naked woman in front of them" part.
But, one of my male coworkers tells me that sometimes guys — and this is a direct quote — "aren't having a good dick day." So maybe give him a break. Or, hey, maybe ask him about it. Pro tip: Not when you've asked him to have sex and he's told you "not tonight, sweets" and not in the middle of a fight. And don't couch it with "am I too fat to fuck?", either. Another pro tip: Pressuring a guy to have sex may directly his ability to comply.
You also don't mention how old you are. As men age, their libido may not go down but their ability may be... more mature. Which means a 50-year-old guy may (or may not) want to have sex all the time but may not be able to. Or he may be afraid he may not be able to, which is pretty much making sure he isn't going to be able to.
Of course, if your relationship is brand-new and you're in your early twenties, well, that could be a different story. In that case, write me back.
Finally, are you sure you're making it clear that sex is what you want? Some men — and god knows I love 'em — can be rather daft. Subtle hints may not work. Try, "hey, want to get naked?" — that one's always worked for me. Except that one time my ex was actually having an affair. So, er, hope that helps.
Happy fucking,
R.
Roxxie Cocker wants to hear the sex questions you've always had but have been afraid to ask, so send 'em to [email protected].