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The humiliation of having venue named 1-800-ASK-GARY Amphitheater: Kennedy: "I really dont find much humiliation in the moniker of the 1-800 Axe Gary Amphitheater because, face it, Tampa is the Cleveland of Florida. When retarded shit like this happens from Tampa bay my friends that live in glitzier cosmopolitan centers of culture , places like Davenport, Buffalo, and Omaha, Nebraska just go, "Eh, ... Tampa." Tampa is a very not cool town and I LIKE it that way! After living in the plastic land known as South Florida, this is a welcome change! People are real here (sometimes real ugly, but real) and can deal with humiliation (hell, take the Bucs, for example). I just hope hope hope hope that they have a rider in their contract that "Roz' from the commercials has to introduce all the headliners that come on stage!"
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Last call at the Hub: Powers: "I think The Hub is legally binded to have football field-strength lights come on at last call. With their usual lighting and a couple of drinks, you're taking home Terrence Howard and waking up next to Clint Howard. If those lights go on before you leave, and you can actually see what you are going home with and they are not at fault in any way."
Kennedy: "Last call at the Hub is a magical time! I tell ya, with the good bad and the ugly making that last desperate dash into anyones bed or the to ever elusive after-party. Their strong drinks keep Valtrex in business!"
The hordes of yuppies at MacDinton's: Kennedy: "Whenever I got to MacDoucheingtons , I get stabby. That place is crawling with 30-thousand-dollar millionaires!"
The Senator: Powers: "Gotta love The Castle. A place where a middle-aged pot-bellied man can walk around in a see-through pink negligee, having people pour candle wax on his semi-erect penis, and is welcome in anytime. But if you 'fall asleep' on one of the couches, you are kicked out for life."
Kennedy: "Ive partied with the Senator on occasion and think hes an ok guy. I think its awesome that no one knows anything about him! Everyone has a theory about his personal life and some of them are way out there. I like to think that hes really a boring normal guy that is a greeter at Wal-Mart and collects Hummel figurines of little children dressed as clowns and is addicted to Americas Got Talent, or a hit man!"