A punk rock night of comedy (or vice versa) this Saturday

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The humiliation of having venue named 1-800-ASK-GARY Amphitheater: Kennedy: "I really don’t find much humiliation in the moniker of the 1-800 “Axe” Gary Amphitheater because, face it, Tampa is the Cleveland of Florida. When retarded shit like this happens from Tampa bay my friends that live in glitzier cosmopolitan centers of culture , places like Davenport, Buffalo, and Omaha, Nebraska just go, "Eh, ... Tampa." Tampa is a very not cool town and I LIKE it that way! After living in the plastic land known as South Florida, this is a welcome change! People are real here (sometimes real ugly, but real) and can deal with humiliation (hell, take the Bucs, for example). I just hope hope hope hope that they have a rider in their contract that "Roz' from the commercials has to introduce all the headliners that come on stage!"


Last call at the Hub: Powers: "I think The Hub is legally binded to have football field-strength lights come on at last call. With their usual lighting and a couple of drinks, you're taking home Terrence Howard and waking up next to Clint Howard. If those lights go on before you leave, and you can actually see what you are going home with and they are not at fault in any way."

Kennedy: "Last call at the Hub is a magical time! I tell ya, with the good bad and the ugly making that last desperate dash into anyone’s bed or the to ever elusive after-party. Their strong drinks keep Valtrex in business!"

The hordes of yuppies at MacDinton's: Kennedy: "Whenever I got to MacDoucheingtons , I get stabby. That place is crawling with 30-thousand-dollar millionaires!"

The Senator: Powers: "Gotta love The Castle. A place where a middle-aged pot-bellied man can walk around in a see-through pink negligee, having people pour candle wax on his semi-erect penis, and is welcome in anytime. But if you 'fall asleep' on one of the couches, you are kicked out for life."

Kennedy: "I’ve partied with the Senator on occasion and think hes an ok guy. I think it’s awesome that no one knows anything about him! Everyone has a theory about his personal life and some of them are way out there. I like to think that he’s really a boring normal guy that is a greeter at Wal-Mart and collects Hummel figurines of little children dressed as clowns and is addicted to Americas Got Talent, or a hit man!"

If you ever hang out at the Hub, New World Brewery, Fuma, Corner Club, the Emerald or other counter-culture-trendy spots in the Tampa Bay area, you might have rubbed elbows with the ubiquitous John Kennedy, Stephanie Powers (a.k.a. DJ Stephmoney) and Steve Miller. Never mind that are all three names are jokes in themselves – a late President walks into a bar with the chick from Hart to Hart and plays the Joker on the Jukebox – these jokesters are the life of the party wherever they go. They are ones whose friends tell them, “Dude, you’re funny – you should do stand-up.” Well, what many don’t know is that all three are experienced comedians. This Saturday, they perform at the Emerald at 9:30 p.m. for 5 bucks a head. Crash Mitchell and  local punk band The Boozers play between sets. It’ll be the band’s last night with frontman Ed Lowery (also of Magadog).

How do these offbeat comics cope with the unique absurdities of Tampa Bay? Kennedy and Powers offer some words of, um, wisdom. ...

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