- St. Pete's "Hiccup Girl," has brought fame to us once again but this time her actions lack the panache of unstoppable hiccups. This time, she seems to have killed someone in an empty home on my old street. When will St. Pete be known for something cool? Like NOT a hiccuping murderer?
- Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert aren't the only ones holding giant, faux-political rallies this weekend. A group of intrepid Neil Diamond fans have launched a petition to have Neil Diamond inducted into the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame (please, please let it be Jack Black, Steve Zahn and Jason Biggs huddled around Facebook). This is getting to be a strange trend. I haven't seen The Social Network yet, but I hope it's all about how Brooklyn hipsters and your mom can find a common cause in their love of adorable, unoffensive old people and bringing them back into fame, via Facebooking.
- Hilary Duff lost a tooth the morning of her wedding because she bit into a bagel. We are supposed to believe that this is normal? As if every time I bite into a bagel I am risking a tooth falling out!? No, no way, Hillary Duff. Either you have the teeth of a kitten or your mother is serving you week-old bagels on your wedding day. Either way, not great. Also, she married a hockey player, so insert bad hockey player teeth joke here.
- You know how awkward it is to run into your ex, we all do. I guess it would be more awkward if you were famous, because then it's not just your one overly-dramatic friend saying "OH MY GOD. I cannot believe he was out with her! And at that restaurant!? What happened? Did you talk? Does she look fat? I totally heard she got fat. I bet you looked way better. Well, way to go, you got through it but I mean, wow, I think we should keep talking about it because I am sure that was super hard for you to see them, TOGETHER!...." Now, that one gossipy friend turns into every celebrity journalist, blogger , TV host, etc. That being said, did you hear that Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey were eating at the same restaurant this week?! Holy awkward... amirite?
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- A few Glee stars are all over GQ but their clothes seem to have been misplaced. Some people seem to believe that this is wrong because they play high schoolers. But here is the thing, THEY ARE NOT ACTUALLY IN HIGH SCHOOL. It's a lot like Saved By The Bell or Beverly Hills 90210 or The OC or any show ever that has revolved around high schoolers. Simmer down, right-wing conservatives with nothing better to do... Glee isn't really trying to talk your kids into having premarital, underage sex. Your craziness is doing a good job of pushing your daughters into the arms of a strapping 17-year old boy in the back of that new Ford Focus.
- Hilary Swank is not a fan of armpit-shaving. Her femininity is undeniable.
- Katy Perry and Russell Brand got married this weekend in a "totally normal" ceremony in India, at a luxury resort, riding on elephants, with high security and afterwards, their guests took a tour of the tiger sanctuary. Yep, totally normal. Oh, also, Katy Perry wore a traditional Indian nose ring (afraid to inform her that she is not, in fact, Indian) which may or may not have been in the "prostitute position." I am not well-versed in the positions that prostitutes take, but I assume that this explanation would be NSFW.
After the jump, killer hiccups, J-Woww's career options and awkward exes...