American Idol Top 12 Recap: We get it, "Big Mike" and Crystal are amazing...can we be done now?

St. Pete's own Michael Lynche aka "Big Mike" started off the night and sounded amazing. In the words of Michelle Collins of BWE.tv, "Congratulations to our winner Big Mike, and hopefully the rest of you can score tickets for Conan O’Brien’s live tour or something. Good night and drive safe." The show is over folks, tell him what he has won.


Where did Didi Benami come from?! Two weeks ago, she could have been living under a bridge for all I know and now she's all busy being awesome and stuff.


Sawyer-twin Casey James is so gosh-darned dreamy, he is going to stay in based on what I like to call the cougar vote. Keep on tousling your hair Casey and maybe unbutton that shirt a little more, that's what the ladies want.


I still cannot get into Lacey Brown. I am not sure if it's her creepy too-light-for-humans eyes or the fact that I feel like I am watching Alice from Twilight every time she graces the stage. Either way, she could go and I would be ok with it.


Andrew Garcia had no choice but to cover a non-female pop song, as this was Rolling Stones night and all, and I think he suffered for it. He isn't bad and he isn't amazing, he is just likable or something.


I refuse to comment on [image-1]er back to Connecticut.


Cutie McGee, Tim Urban sang a Jason Mraz song that he says is a Rolling Stones song, but I dunno, it reeeeaaaally sounded like a Jason Mraz song. Amiright?


Siobhan Magnus put on a homecoming dress, curled her hair, looked like post-makeover Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club and screamed at us. Somehow, we all loved it.


My number one crush, Lee Dewyze, is killing me softly with his songs, seriously, my heart hurts, that's how much I love him. I want Lee to be my boyfriend and sing me to sleep. I am also fairly certain I have a better chance at him than I did with the former Idol love of my life, Adam Lambert.


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Paige Miles is still annoying the bejesus out of me but she has like some sort of illness where her vocal chords are mussed up and fuzzy and she sounds like a whispering dude (that's my medical diagnosis). So she will get through based upon the sympathy-for-the-sickly votes. Booooooo.


Listen, I am fine with Aaron Kelly as long as he has no aspirations outside of opening up for Justin Bieber, 14-year old girls are his target demo. And I am blaming Randy for any dreams this kid may have of a life where he actually has a career singing for adults, because Randy had the audacity to compare him to Justin Timberlake. NO, NO! JT brought sexy back, Aaron Kelly doesn't even know where sexy is, he needs a friggin' treasure map just to find it and if he actually gets to the spot and unburies said sexytreasurechest, he would not have the slightest clue what to do with it.


Me, now: "Ahhhhh!!!! Why am I watching this show?!" as I take off my glasses, rub my  temples and sigh, returning to this torture.


Crystal "Dreadlox" Bowersox is still effing awesome and I don't think she will beat Michael Lynche but I like her and she can do no wrong, so whatevs, maybe I like hippies now. Ugh.


So who's going home?


Katie Stevens has GOT.TO.GO. That is all.


Front Runner?


I said it last week and I will say it again: Michael Lynche is the next American Idol, duh.


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Who's not making it into the Top 12?


The bottom three this week were Tim, Paige and Lacey. Yet again, America got it wrong and Lacey is outta here, keeping both Paige and Katie in the competition. Do you think that the voting was less skewed toward the tweeners before every 11-year old in the country got an iPhone?


_________________________


Follow me on Twitter, @MandaAnn and keep up with all your pop-culturely needs at @AltDotPop.

Why are we even here? Seriously, American Idol...why am I still watching you this season? You have forsaken me. Last week's results show was the first time in my long and sordid history with Idol that I actually believed we need a "judges' override." There is no way in hell or heaven or earth that Katie Stevens and Paige Miles should have made it into the illustrious top 12. This. Is. Crap. Yet here I am, glued to my television for another two hours, putting off my DVRed episode of Lost and holding onto that last bit of hope I have, that maybe this week, Americans will stop being such dimwits and get it right.

The top 12 does bring us a bigger stage, a larger audience, a normal-sized (his usual stature of "mini") Ryan Seacrest and a slightly less train-wrecky set of performances.

Recapping and bitching commences after the jump...

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