Ask Dream Momma: dreaming of my shadow self

“Dear Dream Momma, I dreamt this morning that I was at a small, 1920s-style old-fashioned white wood-framed bungalow with a front porch. I think it was my house in the dream but nothing like my real-life house. The weather was nice — like a pleasant October day. It was after work, a sunny afternoon.

I had some friends over. One close friend who's a single mom, tall and very outgoing and nurturing — one of my very best friends — lay down on my bed in my tiny bedroom (a room smaller than my bedroom in real life) and she looked oddly thin. I looked at her gaunt hips and commented about her losing weight (she's a very pear-shaped woman usually).

She said she was on a crash diet jokingly named after another friend. She called it the *** diet. (An interesting side note about this person is that she's known as being kind of wild, a free spirit. She left the country for a while to live overseas. Although close to her son, she left him behind for several years.)

Anyway, while my friend was lying down, she said she had a bad day and would love a glass of wine. She looked so stressed out and I really wanted to cheer her up. I myself am not much of a drinker but I remembered that I had a gift certificate for a free bottle of wine at gourmet store. It was given to me as a token of appreciation by a friend who starred in a local play I attended. I was very excited to go redeem the certificate and get a bottle of wine and share it with her.

While we were sitting on the porch, just before we were about to leave to go get the wine, the wind took the certificate out of my hands and swept it under the house. I ran down the steps of the porch to go look underneath and it was gone. I frantically searched and couldn't find it. I was so frustrated and disappointed. I screamed and cursed. I woke up with that feeling.”

Dream Momma thinks this is an interesting and complicated dream. There seems to be three dream personas involved. You, your thin best friend (you too) and a more powerful shadow friend (you three). It is this shadow friend that Dream Momma thinks has the emotional juice in this dream, but more on her later.  In addition all three of you, wait, make that four (you the dreamer), are expressing conflicts about a recent situation.  The large room shrinks, your best friend gets very thin; not good signs. Ask yourself what happened that made you feel smaller, thinner?  Your dream ego cannot fix her either; fate in the form of wind takes the opportunity away. Your efforts fail. Is that familiar?

Now let’s look at ***, the unnamed shadow figure who abandons her responsibilities and instead seeks adventure. For some reason Dream Momma thinks that’s something you would like to do too. In truth, that’s something we all would like to do. Blow everything off, travel the world and still be accepted, even admired by the hard-working, depleted, friends we’ve left behind. Unless there are real children involved and you’re flat broke, Dream Momma says, GO FOR IT!  If not now, when?

One last Dream Momma suggestion; read The Robber Bride. It will help you understand, appreciate, and perhaps even embrace your adventure-seeking Shadow Self.

Dream Momma

Watch for the book, The Dream belongs to the Dreamer, Spring, 2011.

Dream Momma needs dreams. Send them to [email protected]

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