This was supposed to be about TED Talks.
Unless you live under a rock, chances are, you’ve seen a TED Talk on YouTube, on social media or through a friend. What you might not know is that universities (like UF and USF) have hosted independent events, called TEDx, on campus for the last few years. At these events, students, faculty and others are invited to speak, and there’s a story in there, somewhere.
Were I to write that story, I’d focus on how students now have an outlet that was previously unheard of, except maybe through Tiger Moms’ mouths and social media pages — “Guess what my son or daughter did?” But after talking to Phillip Wagner, the director of core curriculum at the University of South Florida Sarasota-Manatee, about his recent TEDx Talk at the Tampa campus, I decided to trash that idea. My new one? The dawning of the idea that men, and not just women, are being victimized by “gender ideals,” especially concerning body image.
In short, dudes don’t like their boobs, either.
This realization is not new to me. As a 24-year-old male just coming out of the state education system — middle school, high school and public university — the awkward phases of puberty right though musty locker-room smells are still fresh in my memory (and olfactory receptors). In my experience, while I cannot relate to tampons, changing bra sizes or the pressures of feeling oversexualized, I can assure women that they are not alone when it comes to unhealthy preoccupation with looks and figures. Certainly, from a God’s-eye view, men’s and women’s dressing rooms, minus the fleshy bits, would look the same — hotbeds of insecurity very unlike Hollywood, full of unsure kids who'd much rather just skip to the part where we’re dressed.
Dr. Phillip Wagner spoke about his own experiences and research at TEDxUSF in a talk titled, “Bellies, Boobs and Bulges: Challenging Ideal Bodies.” Now, Dr. Wagner researches the intersections of gender, identity and health at USF Sarasota, but his interest dates back to the insecurities he had as a fluffy four-year-old.
“I remember my two friends making fun of my need for a bra," he says. "I remember the minister of my Baptist church pointing out the bursting buttons on my shirt. My body became a joke.”
Wagner is now an accomplished speaker and researcher who, at around 200 pounds, is nearly half the man the man he used to be (at 370 pounds). While he doesn’t retain his old fatty tissue, though, he does maintain his interest in masculinity and fitness.
In his talk, Dr. Wagner stands beside “Bob,” a mannequin with “chiseled arms, a rock hard chest, washboard abs and strong legs.” Wagner and a plastic male model. While he clarifies that there isn’t anything wrong with fitness, it’s more of our “idea” around it that’s troubling. Speaking with Dr. Wagner on the phone, he says he’d heard of men who spend up to “six hours” in the gym daily.
It’s here that masculinity and health become a concern.
He pays that level of obsession to the perceived benefits of “Bob-types” — money, power, dominance and sex. Dr. Wagner argues that it’s not “Bob being Bob” that is necessarily harmful but the messages behind him, the advertising in the abs. During “Bellies, Boobs and Bulges,” Dr. Wagner flashes several images on screen, each with greased mesomorphs, usually on top of beautiful women. If we “take a step back,” as Dr. Wagner suggests, from the pulverizing ads, we’ll see how a man should look and what a man that looks like that does. In that definition, there’s no regard for women. And to be sure, Bob doesn’t settle for vanilla sex.
The problem is, that’s a bag of goods that’s easy to buy. The men spending six hours in the gym have. If I’m honest, I probably have too. Whether your weight is a pastor's punchline or you dread changing with the football team, we’ve all been on the losing end of our respective gender ideals. And I think it’s our fear of loss that makes us want to be like Bob more than a desire for our own health.
While Dr. Wagner’s talk was directed at men, I know and he knows that body health is a gender-neutral term. Men and women are both losers when we face unrealistic expectations for our bodies. Whether “Bob” or “Bonnie,” there's equal pressure to fit into proscribed gender ideals like an old pair of jeans. In "Bellies, Boobs and Bulges," Dr. Wagner's message occupied center stage at TEDxUSF. The theme for the night was "Challenging What Is." Dr. Wagner's months of preparation and life research culminated in a one-night event. It's the audience's responsibility to take his message forward.
Josh Kennedy is a recent graduate of USF Tampa, where he majored in English.
