How many fingers am I holding up? Six? Shit, there should be 10. Damn you, M-80s and Mai-Tais. Hope everyone had a very safe and successful July 4th celebration. I'm sure Patrick Henry would be proud of my puffy-face, pounding headache and random apologies. Back to it, then.
Rays take Red Sux down a peg. At home to boot. Good thing, too because otherwise I would have strongly suggested they throw in a quick load of laundry or dirty underpants and get the hell out of town. Seriously, after splitting the Red Sux and taking three of four away from the Twinks, the Rays have the best record in baseball, on the road. At the halfway point, the Rays have embarrassed other teams in their own backyard at 28-14 but are similarly bitch-slapped at home 20-19. Extraordinarily puzzling to say the least when you consider we have a state-of-the-art Dome built when George Bush (41) was president in such a geographically coveted and convenient part of Tampa Bay.
Three cheers for the three Rays. Hip-hip (please don't, it's just an expression). Major kudos, atta-boys,and back-slaps to Evan Longoria, Carl Crawford, and David Price for being selected to the 2010 All-Star game. Yes, it should have been four (Rafael Soriano) but do you think we can put off the pissing and moaning for a few days and enjoy how far this team has come? Or would you like to go back to 1999 when the only dude out there wasrole model, Jose Canseco? Not everybody gets a medal, okay?
Simms likes to party:
This article appears in Jul 1-7, 2010.