Bill's Sports Binge: Rays snap Cleveland streak, Bucs outlook bleak and a ring-stealing freak

[image-1] Michael Vick has been cleared to play by the NFL after commish Roger Goodell advised the POS to reign in his social circle to include only family and close friends (um, have you met Marcus?), the long-awaited vendor health inspection results are in from sports venues across the country and our very own Tropicana Field had "critical violations" in a perfect 100% of their vendors (no wonder hot dogs are so expensive; rat poop ain't cheap), and according to bodog.com, the Bucs are a 100-1 underdog to win the Super Bowl, surprising some who figured a new number would need to be invented to accommodate the odds. Like a buh-gillion.

Last week the Rays went to Baltimore and Cleveland. I split time between Disney and Treasure Island. So I understand first-hand more than most the toll a grueling road trip can take both mentally and physically. Being away from home, away from your element, your own bed, and out of your comfort zone can be exhausting, dull your edge and your confidence, and make you second-guess decisions that under normal circumstances would be instinctive. Have I put on enough suntan lotion?  Will there be time to ride the Rockin-Rollercoaster twice? Does this frozen drink make me look gay? I feel your pain, boys. So taking the series in both venues made it all that much sweeter, especially at the mistake by the lake against the Indians where the Rays hadn't won since September 28, 2005. Now the "Cleveland Curse" only applies to the poor bastards that wake up there every morning.

New Tech Pest Control guarantees removal of roaches, termites, rats, and bling-bling. A man has earned himself free room and board courtesy of the US tax-payer for stealing and pawning a 2008 American League championship ring from a Rays sales manager while treating his condo. Scott Richardson, the alleged turd-bucket, is currently on probation for aggravated stalking and was fired by Suncoast Pest Control, a previous employer, for um, stealing.

"He touched me inappropriately. The guy really gave me the creeps, and I have ticks," said a rat recently removed by Richardson.

The Storm take down the Alabama Vipers 53-29 Saturday night and remain tied for 1st place in their division with the Jacksonville Sharks. So what the hell does this all mean to us headline-whores? It means that in order for our Arena Football team to host a playoff game, it needs to beat the Orlando Predators for the regular season finale this Saturday and Jax needs to lose (to Spokane). For those of you who still haven't pulled the trigger on a Storm game, it's like the state fair compared to the NFL's Disney World: cheaper, faster, more colorful clientele, and you'll inexplicably and immediately need to shower afterward. Plus a player might land on your lap.

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