Dirty Talk: Infamous Quotes on Sex and Love

An expanding list of funny, irreverent, truthful, and memorable quotes on sex, love, and everything in between.

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Marquis de Sade: “Sexual pleasure is, I agree, a passion to which all others are subordinate but in which they all unite.”

Marquis de Sade: “What does one want when one is engaged in the sexual act? That everything around you give you its utter attention, think only of you, care only for you...every man wants to be a tyrant when he fornicates.”

Marquis de Sade: “We are no guiltier in following the primative impulses that govern us than is the Nile for her floods or the sea for her waves.”

Carl Sagan: "For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love."

Antoine de Saint-Exupery: "Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."

Don Schrader: “To hear many religious people talk one would think God created the torso head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals.”

Jess C. Scott: “A fit, healthy body—that is the best fashion statement.”

Barbara Seaman: “Condoms should be marketed in 3 sizes: jumbo, colossal, and super colossal so that men do not have to go in and ask for the small.”

William Shakespeare: “Graze on my lips, and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.”

William Shakespeare: "As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words."

William Shakespeare: "Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs."

William Shakespeare: "The course of true love never did run smooth."

William Shakespeare: "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind."

William Shakespeare: "Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?"

William Shakespeare: "Love is blind, and lovers cannot see, The pretty follies that themselves commit."

William Shakespeare: "Doubt that the stars are fire, Doubt that the sun doth move his aides, Doubt truth to be a liar, But never doubt I love."

William Shakespeare: "Love hath made thee a tame snake."

William Shakespeare: "A heart to love, and in that heart, Courage, to make’s love known."

William Shakespeare: "For where thou art, there is the world itself, And where thouh art not, desolation."

William Shakespeare: "To be wise and love, Exceeds man’s might."

William Shakespeare: “He eats nothing but doves, love, and that breeds hot blood, and hot blood beget hot thoughts, and hot thoughts beget hot deeds, and hot deeds is love.”

Tupac Shakur: “Hate to sound sleezy / but tease me / I don’t want it if it’s that easy.”

Omar Sharif: “Making love? It's a communion with a woman. The bed is the holy table. There I find passion and purification.”

George Bernard Shaw: “Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!”

George Bernard Shaw: “Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.”

Charlie Sheen: “I don't pay women for sex. I pay them to leave."

Allan Sherman: “Anyone who calls it "sexual intercourse" can't possibly be interested in actually doing it. You might as well announce you're ready for lunch by proclaiming, "I'd like to do some masticating and enzyme secreting.”

Nikki Sixx: “My dick didn't seem to be aware that she was there. She kept asking me what was wrong, and I was so out of it that I thought she meant what was wrong with the world, so I started talking about global poverty and shit. I'm not surprised she left. I suspect she won't be coming back.”

Alexander McCall Smith: “She was made for untidy rooms and rumpled beds.”

Zadie Smith: "When the male organ of a man stands erect, two thirds of his intelect go away. And one third of his religion.”

Marilyn Sokol: “Housework is like bad sex. Every time I do it I swear I will never do it again. Until the next time company comes.”

John Steinbeck: "What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.”

Laura Sessions Stepp: “Sex isn't good unless it means something. It doesn't necessarily need to mean "love" and it doesn't necessarily need to happen in a relationship, but it does need to mean intimacy and connection...There exists a very fine line between being sexually liberated and being sexually used.”

Rod Stewart: “Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house.”

Sharon Stone: “Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.”

C.M. Stunich: “Perversion is just another form of art. It's like painting or drawing or sculpting. Except instead of paint, us perverts use sex as our medium.”

Thomas Szasz: “Sex is a body-contact sport. It is safe to watch but more fun to play.”

Thomas Szasz: “Masturbation the primary sexual activity of mankind. In the nineteenth century it was a disease; in the twentieth, it's a cure.”

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