Divine Sexuality: Enlightenment through sex

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Alfie: In Divine Sexuality, there seems to be a deep connection between the sexual and the spiritual. Do atheists or the hyper-religious have a difficult time accepting the spiritual side of Tantra?

Sarita: Tantra is not about any dogma. It is about experience. You simply practice the different methods of meditation and that will help you access who you want to be. Whether you are part of some other religion doesn’t really matter because in a sense it is a science. It is the science of flowering in your totality as a human. It doesn’t get in the way of other religions. It is not a religion. It is a lifestyle.

There are meditations that work with the principle of devotion for example. What you are devoted to is your choice, but you can use devotion as a path to open up. Then there are other meditations that work through the senses that help you expand your potential as a human.

The only conflict that could come up is if someone believes that sexuality is not worthy of research or if they think that spirituality means you must be cut off from your sex. In Tantra, everything that the human being is, is considered divine. All are manifestations of the divine principle. So sex is as sacred as prayer. Sex can become prayer.

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Alfie: Why do you think so many Western religions associate abstinence with holiness? Is it possible to be enlightened without tapping into your sexual nature?

Sarita: That is a very complex question because we would have to study the roots of these religions and why they took that path of condemning sexuality. If you go into the more pagan religious approaches then the body is always accepted as part of divinity. The body, the Earth—it is all one. In Tantra we are bringing consciousness to everything the human being is. When you bring awareness to something and you treat it as a meditation it will reveal itself in its divine aspects.

I think the reason other religions have condemned sexuality is because of the aspect of animalism which feels very wild and uncontrollable. Sex is a very great, powerful force, and it is the fuel that will actually lead us into our super consciousness. If you can embrace it and then you can go with it, and start raising your energy using that very powerful fuel that is in your sex center, then you can open up all the different aspects of your being. If you cut off that energy, it’s like you’re cutting of your very life motor.

We’ve seen what happens to the sexually repressed, like Irish priests in the news who sexually abused children. When people repress their sexuality, it comes out it very perverted ways because it is a very powerful energy. So it makes much more sense to actually use this energy wisely, and that is what Tantra is proposing.

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Alfie: Have you ever taught Tantra to the physically handicapped as a way of regaining sensation or sensuality?

Sarita: I know of a woman in England who is doing this work, helping handicapped people to experience Tantra. This is a really beautiful branch of Tantra that is evolving in England.

The people who come to my workshops are all ages and come from all walks of life. It is not so common that someone comes who has a disability. Of course they would be welcomed but I haven’t had so much experience with that.

A lot of times people come who have some kind of issue around their sexuality, whether that is a history of sexual abuse, impotence, or difficulty having an orgasm. There are all different reasons people come to Tantra. Others come because they want to evolve in a spiritual sense. They want to open up and become a flower of consciousness.

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Alfie: How do certain sexual fetishes like flogging or bondage figure into Tantra, or do you think fetishes are a result of unresolved sexual issues?

Sarita: I think people have fetishes for different reasons. It could be that there are some psychological issues from their childhood or past life issues that are creating that. It could be that they are trying to open up some aspect of themselves that is hidden and they need to evolve through that.

There is one meditation in the Vigyan Bhairav Tantra that deals with brining awareness to pain. It is phenomenal to read through those sutras and realize that we can bring awakened consciousness to anything we are, whether that is pain or pleasure or thoughts or sexuality—everything.

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Alfie: Divine Sexuality seems to have a huge emphasis on leading a healthy life and not putting toxins or chemicals in your body. However, your book also emphasizes the importance of birth control and safe sex? Does the idea of taking hormonal birth control conflict with Tantra?

Sarita: Basically in Tantra, the body is considered a sacred temple of the divine. If we start regarding our body as sacred, then we will start to feel and sense what is good for our body. Then very naturally you feel like treating your body with love and care and giving it proper fuel and nourishment. The body is a reflection of our soul just as our soul is a reflection of our body. You can’t disassociate body, mind, and spirit. So it just makes perfect sense if you are caring for and nurturing your body, simultaneously you will be nurturing your soul and visa versa.

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Alfie: The idea that humans go through seven-year cycles of enlightenment in some ways coincides with the theory of human sexual evolution, which proposes that humans form pair bonds for as long as it would take to raise a child to a state of relative independence. What does the Tantra say about lifelong monogamy versus serial pair bonding?

Sarita: Well there are different branches of Tantra. There is one branch that comes from the Kashmiri Tantra tradition where couples are honored and you can travel the spiritual path with your partner. Then there is the other part, which is more aimed at the individual. Partnerships may be formed but there is no emotional attachment that is encouraged. So it depends on how you want to play the game.

I offer a seven level couples training which takes three years. On each level they are given a series of meditations that they take home and practice. Over that three-year period they have a huge transformation and I’ve seen quite a few marriages “saved” in that process. They come in on the verge of divorce and Tantra is the last hope. They go through this process and they become closer and rise in love.

The opposite can also happen. People come and their relationship is troubled and they find out that they can’t do anything to save it. In this day and age there is so much change happening in terms of partnerships, like rising divorce rates. We could go on for hours discussing this and that but all I can say is that if it is possible for the couple to stay together I will do everything I can to help them in that direction. And Tantra is certainly a very good way to spice up the marriage or open up a more harmonious way of relating, but if someone prefers to go on an individual Tantra path, I also do a lot of singles groups to help that process where people can explore and expand as singles.

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Alfie: Is there any danger in making sex a kind of spiritual ceremony? Does this make it more difficult to enjoy a quickie or a spontaneous fling?

Sarita: I really enjoy this question. The way I teach Tantra is to honor all that we are, so I may offer a couple a series of meditation practices to do that opens up a vertical dimension in them connected to spirituality and consciousness. After that series is done then I will tell them to just drop all method and be completely ordinary. Be as hedonistic as you like. If you want to have a quickie on the kitchen table, go for it. What that does is it starts weaving together the very hedonistic animal aspects within us together with the spiritual aspects, while honoring both equally. With this weaving together, eventually there will become that meeting of opposites between hedonism and spirituality. As they meet there is that satori experience, or oneness with the divine, that explodes in the consciousness of the person.

Learn more about Sarita and her work at Tantra-Essence.com. Get your own copy of Divine Sexuality, one of her other books, or one of her many guided tantric meditations on CD at TantraShop.co.uk.

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