I’ve had sex in the back of a Volkswagen Vanagon. I’m not proud of the who, but the what? That’s totally my bag, baby. Look, you don’t have to rock the tie-dye to feel good about Hippie Fest. OK, so you may need to love patchouli and peace, but that doesn’t make it a dealbreaker, does it? I mean, what would Jerry do? Yes, there’s a VW Beetle contest, and OK, they encourage you to wear your bellbottoms (it’s August in Florida... as if!) but beyond that, it smells like you might eat hippie pie but in reality you’ll simply go to the nearest food truck and get something vegan and gluten and carb and sugar free. Y’know, just like the food trucks at Woodstock served. Besides, as my friend Theresa says, “If you remember having sex in a Vanagon, you weren’t really there.”
Downtown Tarpon Springs, Dodecanese Blvd., Tarpon Springs. August 13, 2-10 p.m. 845-661-5518. tarponspringsfloridausa.com.