Why yes, the Vermont Teddy Bear Company — beloved online "Made in America" institution and go-to source of well-made, cleverly themed teddy bears for teddy bear lovers of all ages — is indeed offering a Fifty Shades of Grey bear. Thanks for asking!
As the poorly written book is about to make its debut as an already widely derided film, the fuzzy-cuddly company has a limited-edition Christian Grey bear, complete with vaguely fetish-y masquerade mask, nothing-vague-about-them mini-handcuffs, and sales copy that basically pants with BDSM-lite implication.
Just like the one your uncle bought you when you were 11 and despondent over the possibility that unicorns might not be real. (Or, hopefully, nothing like that one at all.)
Nope. Nothing remotely unsettling about this.
Could it get any weirder? Perhaps: