Introducing The Raw Story: Your weekly dose of the WWE

New WWE tag team champs Epico and Primo with manager Rosa Mendes (left)
  • New WWE tag team champs Epico and Primo with manager Rosa Mendes (left)

Tonight on Raw, expect to see the new tag team champs Epico and Primo defend their titles against Air Boom. For the uninitiated (yeah, you), the titles changed hands at a WWE live event on Sunday evening in Oakland, Ca. The dethroning of a champ at a house show (instead of a pay-per-view event) is extremely rare, and rumor has it Air Boom's Evan Bourne is in hot water behind the scenes for his handling of a recent synthetic Marijuana-related suspension. I’m looking forward to this match actually being televised on WWE’s “A” show, as I love a good tag team match.

Predictions for tonight:
• The John Cena/Kane/Zack Ryder/Eve flat tire storyline will be force fed to us some more, despite the tread already wearing way thin …
• CM Punk and Dolph Ziggler will feud over the title to build some hype for their upcoming bout at the Royal Rumble. Funny that the WWE Championship (supposedly the “holy grail” of the company, at least according to Michael Cole) gets mid-card billing and less screen time than the tired flat tire drama.
• More awkward crowd-trolling from Dancing With The Stars also-ran Chris Jericho, who will still be cheered by the faithful despite his openly mocking them.

The Funkasaurus lives …
  • The Funkasaurus lives …
• Expect another squash match with plenty of gyrations by Brodus Clay. I’m curious if the live crowd actually has any kind of response for the Funkasaurus tonight, or if the people will once again sit in subdued silence while Brodus and his dancers play out the last of their 15 minutes of fame. (As an aside: If a crowd of 15,000 people can’t enjoy watching a large man dance while destroying his opponents, then I guess those of us watching from home will just have to make up for their startling lack of enthusiasm.)

Enjoy Raw tonight. I’m looking forward to writing about it, so be sure to check back tomorrow and see whether the latest installment of WWE’s flagship show was worthy of a champion.

[Editor’s Note: Daniel Feingold has been contributing to CL for over six months, but for the Spring 2012 semester he decided to take the plunge and become a CL intern. You’ll find him reviewing movies and DVDs over at the CL Movies page, and indulging his passion for wrestling here on Daily Loaf. Take it away, Daniel …]

The best way to cleanse yourself after watching wrestling is to talk about it. There's nothing more frustrating than having to sit through an hour or two (or sometimes, god forbid, three) hours of a WWE Monday Night Raw Supershow without having a proper channel to share the experience. There’s plenty of positives and negatives to talk about — and let's face it: if you’re watching wrestling in the first place, you’re already a fan — but regardless if the show is good or bad, it’s always fun to rehash it.

So that’s what I’ll be doing every week at Creative Loafing in this here column about Raw. Can you handle a weekly compilation of my impressively unbiased opinions, sarcastic sense of humor and non sequitur references?

I knew that you could.

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