It happened this week-ish: Adam Lambert is happy, Paula is out of Idol, Heidi Montag is naked, Jake Ryan is dead to me, a Kardashian is breeding


* John Hughes has been laid to rest and with him, my dreams of being whisked away in a red Porsche.  Since I was 6 years old (yes, I saw Sixteen Candles when I was in the first grade, one more reason my mom should have never trusted my aunts to babysit), I have waited for a boy to sit on a dining room table and wish me Happy Birthday over a candle-filled cake.  Today, I let go of the dream, so Farmer Ted, it appears that today is your day.

* Kourtney Kardashian is preggers with her maybe-boyfriend's baby.  Obligatory Kardashian joke: Her ass is gonna get soooooo huge.  LOL?  No? OK.

As Creative Loafing's foremost authority on pop culture (I decided that myself and it does not represent the opinion of anyone who works for Creative Loafing), I will be doing a weekly-ish entertainment wrap-up.  Round One: Let's do this.

* Adam Lambert told E! that he is very happy with his boyfriend.  In other news, Drake LaBry (the "boyfriend," in photo at right) is missing and I have been named a "person of interest."  I have no idea why.

* Speaking of Idol, everyone knows that Paula is out of the show, which is extremely disappointing but thank the Lord she will NOT be replaced by Victoria Beckham as was originally reported.  Since replacing Paula is clearly impossible, I vote for a revolving chair of guest judges who are equally entertaining, nonsensical and irrelevant, ie. a member of O-Town, Scott Stapp, Cher, any other Spice Girl. (Feel free to leave me more suggestions.)

* Heidi Montag of The Hills infamy posed for Playboy, and the pictures were released this week (see them all after the jump).  Talk about Modeling 101, girl needs a Tyra lesson ASAP.  ANTM fans know what I mean.  That little mouth open to look sexy? The dead eyes? Seriously, where is Mr. Jay when you need him?!  Oh, and she has fake boobs, like really fake, like bowling ball-style fake.

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