It Happened this Week-ish: Chace Crawford's hott mugshot, January Jones' walk of shame, Kevin Costner's oil spill fixing machine, Heidi & Spencer split for real? and more...

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• According to her director, "Lindsay Lohan Is Going to 'Blow People's Minds' as Linda Lovelace." I bet that isn't the only thing she is going to blow. Hehehe.

• Mark -Paul Gosselaar and his wife have called it quits. Luckily, it is just in time for summer and I am sure he can find a new lady at Malibu Sands Beach Club. That's a real place, right?

• Kevin Costner informed the world that the film we all thought was totally useless, Waterworld, inspired him to create some sort of machine that could fix the gulf, post-oil fiasco. (Note: If you ever wondered what Kevin Costner, Stephen Baldwin, James Cameron and Winnie the Pooh's Tigger have in common, click here.) Now all he needs is some money from BP. If you can't demand millions for your acting skills anymore, I guess the next best thing is demanding millions for your personal oil-sifting device... I think Kevin Costner just became the smartest man in Hollywood.

• Television bleepers are having the worst month ever, thanks to a f*%!ing vampire and one 13-year old c*#%.

• After missing a week of celeb gossip, how could I resist all this juicy, fake divorce madness from the couple who cried wolf, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. According to people I don't trust at all, Heidi is supposed to be living with this Jen Bunney chick this summer, and it appears that they will be living with Spencer's friend, Cougar Zank. Yep... Cougar Zank and Jen Bunney. They will later be joined by Tiger Woods, Daffy Duck and Mighty Mouse.

• Bruce Willis prepares for his viral campaign to make Armageddon 2 a reality, through his endorsement of Polish Vodka. Timely.

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