It Happened This Week-ish: Girls wearing nothing edition, feat. the Kardashians, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Britney Spears, plus Nic Cage buys a pyramid, and the secret Jersey Shore contract revealed


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  • TWIHARD ALERT: Eclipse is reshooting!! But don't go jumping off any cliffs just yet (get it?), the film will still premiere as scheduled just with a few new scenes and maybe a new director telling Kristen Stewart to be a little more tragic and a little less believable. This may not even quality as news.







  • I can't wait any longer, I have to do this now... Ok, so as you may have read, the cast of Jersey Shore was attempting some filming in our very own state but were asked to leave Miami because basically, no bars/clubs would agree to have them filming inside due to the crazy contract they were asked to sign. National sources have been taking quotes from this contract for over a week but finding it in it's entirety has been hard, until now. Amanda Allwood, Girl Detective brings you... The Jersey Shore Contract. You're welcome.













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  • Last but so not least, a little something for my ladies. I wouldn't forget about you, especially when Michael Lohan is taking sexy- as-hell twitpics of himself. You KNOW you want to rip that gold chain from around his neck and run your tongue down his newly shaved chesticles. Yum?



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Follow me on Twitter, @MandaAnn and keep up with all your pop-culturely needs at @AltDotPop.

  • Let's start this off the right way, I am not into false advertising so here is our first story about girls wearing nothing... cuz paint doesn't count. The two less-famous Kardashians got together with some unknown employees and painted themselves to promote Dash in Miami. This is kinda like when Abercrombie uses naked dudes to sell jeans. Somehow it makes sense.

  • Last week-ish, mycomedyheroandsuperfunnylady, Tina Fey hosted Saturday Night Live and despite some missteps (9-inch hooker) I thought she was hilarious. Feminists of the world thought otherwise. Apparently they overlooked the whole $3000 ham napkin, poison her ex-boyfriend, stay with a dude who steals from her cuz he's there, consider being lesbian cuz it's easier things but Brownie Husband?! Nope, baked good have crossed the line, that is where she has gone too far!

  • Nicholas Cage did one of the more Nicolas Cagey things in recent memory by buying a pyramid. Yes, a whoooooole pyramid. And like the ancient royals before him, he will use it to hold his corpse. I always said he was the Pharaoh of our time.

  • The thing to do this week-ish was the release of the "natural photo"... Britney Spears did it with her latest swimsuit pics. Women of the world all wished they could have their own airbrusher. We missed the point (photos with my brilliant analyzation after the jump).

Also after the jump, Eclipse news, bad haircuts, the Jersey Shore contract you probably shouldn't be seeing and more nakedness, cuz that is what the gossip gods gave us this week...

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