Margarita Wars is coming – Get your tickets here!

It happened this week-ish: New Moon madness, Madonna and Jesus' mom, Carrie Prejean is sluttier than we thought and more

By Amanda Allwood on Mon, Nov 16, 2009 at 11:45 am

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*MORE TWILIGHT NEWS? Yes, I literally cannot help myself, plus this is super-scandalous. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were seen....hold on.....wait for it....OMG....HOLDING HANDS!!!!!!! Yes, it is true. There is totally a picture and I am pretty sure this means they are minutes away from the altar.

*DJ Am's estate (whatever that means) has decided to take the high road and sue the airlines responsible for the the crash that he survived in 2008 for his basically unrelated death in 2009. Still confused? They are claiming that the injuries he suffered forced him to take and then abuse the prescription drugs, which led to his OD in September. If this holds up in court, I am moving to Canada, there is no way a country with Mounties and public health care would let this crap fly...no way. Stupid America.

*According to People Magazine, Emmy Rossum and Adam Duritz (ya know, that guy from the Counting Crows) met through Twitter. So to all my friends who think my responses to @JohnCMayer are pointless, you are dumb and I am totally not inviting you to my wedding when I become Mrs. Amanda Mayer.

*And finally, an open letter: Dear Mike Tyson, Please stop hitting people. You are no longer a boxer or whatever it was that you were before you bit that guy's ear off (which still gives me the heebie jeebies to think about). You are a creepy old dude with a face tattoo and an anger problem and a really good cameo in The Hangover, roll with that, it's a good life. Just stop making people bleed, you aren't famous enough for us to care anymore. Okay, thanks. Sincerely, "The People Who Think That Violence is Not The Answer and are Sick of Seeing that Face Tattoo in the Gossip Columns"

P.S. Don't forget to check out all the New Moon premiere happenings in Tampa Bay and come back Friday for my recap on who wins Project Runway!!!!

*It's Twilight Series: New Moon week kiddies and we know you are all just as excited as we are, we being me and Franki and that is all, no one else at CL cares even a little....but that isn't stopping me from telling YOU about the latest and greatest from the makers of Barbie, Ken and Skipper. Here is your first look at the Jacob doll (please hold all ooos, ahhhs, applause and cat calls til the end of this bullet point). You can't put it in a Barbie bed with your Taylor Swift doll and then bust out that adorable little baby Kelly until it's released in February, but at the bargain price of $24.95, you should probably pre-order this sculpted piece of plastic ASAP.

*Big news of what is not happening this week: Madonna is NOT going to meet Jesus' mom. Ok, I am no "religion expert" but isn't Madonna Jesus' mom? Does anyone else think this is really effing weird? It's like some sort of crazy thing that shouldn't ever be said out loud because it causes my mind grapes to hurt.

*The smartest beauty queen in America, Carrie Prejean, seems to be really into a little homemade porn, but what beauty queen isn't? She is reported to be in not one, two or even three sex tapes, but eight and that isn't including the numerous times she "pulled a Vanessa Hudgens" and snapped naked pics of herself using a mirror. I tell you what, this girl is all class. (Kinda SFW pic after the jump)

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