*Anytime I see the words Amy Winehouse, Cinderella, assault and bitches, I know it's gonna be good. What is it with this girl? She gets new boobies and assumes that she can just go around yelling during a children's performance of Cinderella and bleeding all over cast members?! Bitch.
*I love a good trainwreck and Brit-Brit rarely disappoints. So if you're bored at work this week, your boss is out of the office and you need some entertainment to get through the next few days, here is the best waste of time I've seen in minutes, the TOP 75 BULLS#!T Britney Spears stories reported in the media this year. My fave is number 63...because I, too, hate it when my breasts run away. The police really don't take you seriously when you want to put out an amber alert for missing boobs.
*Tip of the Week: Bring heroin to your court hearing. Brought to you by Pete Doherty.
*Charlie Sheen was arrested on Christmas Day in a domestic dispute, which apparently involved him threatening his wife with a weapon. I was hoping it was some sort of Christmas ham or hardened baked goods, cuz that would be funny. It was a knife, that is not at all funny.