Not many dads will fly with their daughter across the country to get her first kiss. Not many dads will wrestle their son on the front lawn. Nor will many dads take on the responsibility of another man’s children even after their mom leaves, especially not at 25. Not many dads are Josh Wolf.
Wolf has chronicled his tribulations as a young and unprepared father trying to make it in the stand-up comedy world in his recent book, It Takes Balls, for which he has been hitting the road almost every weekend since March. Known for regularly offering his “man” point of views on E!’s Chelsea Lately, Wolf has recently gotten back in touch with his stand up roots. He returns to Tampa with his brash and brutally honest brand of humor this weekend.
“There are so many funny books by women about single parenting. I wanted to give a different perspective,” says Wolf. “I wanted to show guys and single dads that it can be done.”
While the book opens with a chapter detailing the finer points of sleeping with single moms, Wolf says it was a late addition. “I almost didn’t want to even put that chapter in the book,” says Wolf. “It’s not the story I wanted to tell”. At the urging of publishers to include something salacious, Wolf agreed to include it. Wolf’s sentiments are clear. That chapter and a few others dealing with his sexual exploits are funny and entertaining, but seem out of place among deeper stories dealing with his kids and the generation they belong to.
The publishers wanted something to grab the attention of an audience, and while they may have accomplished that goal, they have done a disservice to an author who actually has something of note to say.
The story Wolf really tells is one of triumph through anything life can go throw at you. His kids have helped him run an ill fated PB&J delivery service, he had fellow comics babysit (a possibly ill advised move), and never gave up on his dream. Wolf also cares more to tell a story of not necessarily raising kids “right”, but in a way that allows them to work for something and have some level of independence.
“What we are doing as parents is taking their ability as people to solve problems away from them,” says Wolf. “Human resources are inundated with people new to the work force calling because their boss yelled at them. Well, fuck you.”
The book really shines in the middle chapters where he offers insight into a generation of kids he thinks are by and large pussies. Wolf feels parents coddle kids too much these days and raise children who cannot support themselves. Wolf’s disdain for over-parenting was something he was aware of, but didn’t intentionally put in to practice. At first anyways.
“I couldn’t worry about every bump and bruise because I had to worry if there was going to be a second meal,” Wolf says of his improvised parental strategies. “Then I realized that it was good for them. We had to find a way to do things for ourselves.”
Josh Wolf loves his kids, that is apparent. He did not set them out in to the world to fend for themselves, just gave them an opportunity to pick themselves up when they fell instead of running to their aid. It’s the parents trying to be friends with their children that Wolf think are to blame for laziness, entitlement and obesity running rampant in today’s youth. He values the experience of being able to go out and make mistakes. To learn on his own independent of a parent requiring a check-in every 30 minutes.
Wolf thinks parents when he was a kid didn’t fill your head with fear. They didn’t make you think you couldn’t be out on your own, you just were and that’s how it was. It’s is our overprotective, dodge ball free, participation trophy receiving society that is creating this generation of entitled pussies.
The comedian made his career on honesty and storytelling. He candidly talks about embarrassing moments for himself and his children, and this is where his writing shines. His kids have read the book, and they get his style. After all, Wolf is Wolf. His sense of humor might be juvenile, but it’s him and they know it
“The one thing that will never grow up with me is my sense of humor,” says Wolf. “I thought there was going to be some kind of maturity that kind of washed over me, but it hasn’t. It is what it is and I really embrace it.”
His particular brand of humor has become widely known for on Chelsea Lately. It is a sense of humor he feels transcends gender. He is known for his “man” opinion and points of view, but feels he also has had to play the more traditionally feminine role in his kid’s lives.
“I think people see my attitude on the show and the title of the book and think they’re going to be reading a Tucker Max kind of book,” says Wolf. “It couldn’t be further from that. It’s a different attitude. Looking at it traditionally, I played the role of the woman so it does resonate (with women).”
While having honed his comedic and storytelling skills on the L.A. stand up circuit, it was writing where Wolf hit his stride. He has an unabashed honesty that makes his writing funny and poignant. Josh Wolf is more than dicks and jokes. Now in his 40s, he is an experienced parent, observer of the world and a man with something to say. We should listen.
This article appears in Jun 20-26, 2013.