GOTHIKA (R) In her first post-Oscar role, Halle Berry plays a psychotherapist who begins seeing nasty visions and winds up in the damaged souls section of a prison that more closely resembles a haunted house than a penitentiary. The story teases us with some Is she actually nuts or is there really something supernatural afoot? mind games, but that's only window dressing for what is essentially just your basic freaky horror flick. Neon lights flicker at predictable intervals, the wind howls incessantly, and director Mathieu Kassovitz's camera twirls about to the point of distraction, sort of a 21st-century equivalent of those irritating zoom shots of the '70s. The movie is stylish, and Berry holds her own, but Gothika's script is a plodding, convoluted mishmash of horror cliches (complete with eleventh-hour revelations). Even worse, everybody but Berry and Robert Downey often gives the impression that they're being directed by someone with a less-than-perfect grasp of the nuances of the English language. Also stars Penelope Cruz and Charles S. Dutton.
HAUNTED MANSION (PG) The year's second movie based on a Disney theme park attraction isn't quite the unexpected surprise that Pirates of the Caribbean was, but there are certainly worse ways to while away an empty hour or two. Eddie Murphy stars as a workaholic real estate agent trapped with his wife and kids in a creepy house inhabited by ghosts. The movie's target audience is 12 and under, but there's an actual attempt at a plot, of sorts (something about an ancient curse resulting from a tragically ended romance), some respectable special effects and appealing performances both from Murphy and Terrence Stamp (playing a sinister, spectral butler). Parents should be forewarned that there's a particularly frightening sequence halfway in (involving re-animated, decaying corpses), that is probably too intense for most children under the age of seven or so. So if you bring the kiddies, prepare to cover those little eyes. Also stars Marsha Thomason, Jennifer Tilly and Nathaniel Parker.
THE HOLY LAND (R) The best thing about this first feature from Israeli filmmaker Eitan Gorlin is the local color on display, the curious cross-sections of Israeli society we glimpse in the movie's fringes. The heart of The Holy Land is another story, though — or rather several stories — and none of them is especially inspired. Our hero, of sorts, is Mendy (Oren Rehany), a naíve, young Orthodox Jew who gets a hand job from a Russian hooker named Sasha (Tchelet Semel) and offers her his undying love in return. The romance between Mendy and Sasha is an uninspired variation on a tired theme — virginal nerd becomes obsessed with saving a hooker with a heart of gold — and the movie's several other subplots rarely seem to actually connect with one another. Writer-director Gorlin simultaneously gives us a half-baked buddy movie between Mendy and an American-born smuggler (Saul Stein) who's as overbearing as Mendy is bland, then throws in a few other scattered tidbits about a group of Israeli settlers who seem to think they're living in the Wild, Wild West. None of these stories seems to really go anywhere, and a melodramatic ending out of left field doesn't help tie up the loose ends. The film gains some resonance from the fact that one of its principle settings is the quirky Mike's Place, a Jerusalem bar that wound up being blown up by a Palestinian suicide bomber a while back, but most of the movie simply isn't very original or focused. Also stars Albert Illuz. Opens Dec. 5 at Channelside Cinemas and at Burns Court, Sarasota. Call theaters to confirm. 1/2
HONEY (PG-13) Dark Angel's Jessica Alba stars as an aspiring dancer/choreographer who moves to the big city to pursue her dream. Trials and tribulations ensue. Also stars Mekhi Phifer and Lil' Romeo. Opens Dec. 5 at local theaters. (Not Reviewed)
THE HUMAN STAIN (R) Nicole Kidman stars as a troubled bit of white trash having a fling with an older man (Anthony Hopkins) who's got troubles and secrets of his own. None of these secrets are all that surprising, though, and the movie never really establishes a voice or even a coherent narrative, rambling back and forth between clumsy flashbacks and scattershot tidbits about various characters. Kidman and Hopkins are woefully miscast, the movie's rife with hackneyed symbolism, and the Big Secret upon which the whole thing hinges (not divulged until over midway through) is so ludicrous that I'm tempted to give it away, simply because I can. In the end, it's that scariest of all movies you'll see this Halloween — something that's simply horribly, horribly boring. Also stars Gary Sinise. 1/2