SIDEWAYS (R) Alexander Payne's latest film, like the director's previous About Schmidt, is a road movie that easily transcends its own sub-genre, a tragi-comic quest with no clear objectives but lots of priceless detours. There's no real end in sight, but it hardly matters; the fun is all in how we get there (or not). Sideways is also a buddy movie of sorts, a testosterone comedy that serves as a playful, sometimes painful and always spot-on dissection of the male psyche as it lurches toward middle age. The aging male buddies in question are a classic odd couple, depressed wannabe author Miles (Paul Giamatti) and cocky, washed-up actor Jack (Thomas Haden Church), two old pals spending some time together in California's wine country during the week before Jack's wedding. Also stars Virginia Madsen and Sandra Oh. Currently playing at Sunrise Cinemas in Tampa and Burns Court Cinemas in Sarasota. Call to confirm. 
1/2
SPANGLISH (PG-13) James L. Brooks' new movie is terrible because it's long-winded, pointless, shamelessly manipulative and not particularly funny, but it's also something new and even more terrible: a mean-spirited feel-good movie. The basic scenario here is pure sitcom — mildly eccentric yuppie couple hires beautiful, fiery Mexican housekeeper and mayhem ensues — but the execution is flat and extremely unpleasant, with a 130 minute running time that leaves little doubt that Brooks feels he's doing something important here. The characters are, without exception, either underdeveloped or drawn in ridiculously broad strokes, particularly Tea Leoni's hardbodied queen bitch of a hausfrau, who crosses the line from quirky to just plain cruel early on and leaves the movie with a big, fat hole in its emotional center. The plot stumbles along with all the predictability and shallowness of a grade-C TV sitcom but very little of the snap, while the dribs and drabs of affection passing between the characters — particularly Adam Sandler and Paz Vega — aren't particularly satisfying or convincing. Brooks was apparently going through a messy divorce while he was directing Spanglish and was trying to "work something out" in the film, but the result is far and away his worst movie. Also stars Cloris Leachman and Sarah Steele.
THE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS MOVIE (PG) Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Yep, it's Nickelodeon's favorite son, that little ol' absorbent, yellow pop culture icon, making the leap from the living room boob tube to your neighborhood megaplex. There are a few snags along the way — the movie has trouble holding our interest for nearly 90 minutes, mostly owing to an overly conventional storyline (Spongebob and Patrick embark on a quest to retrieve King Neptune's crown) that tries too hard to mold itself for the big screen. Still, that patented blend of wide-eyed nonsense and gleeful anarchy remains pretty much intact and there are periodic bursts of absurd brilliance that make it all worthwhile. The world of Bikini Bottom seems to work better in small doses, but any excuse to spend some time with Mr. Squarepants — the Pee-Wee Herman of his generation — is OK with me. Featuring the voices of Alec Baldwin, Clancy Brown, Rodger Bumpass and Bill Fagerbakke. 1/2
A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT (R) Like all of the films of Jean Pierre Jeunet (Amelie), A Very Long Engagement is a love story. But it's also a war movie, directly descended from hard-hitting humanist classics like Paths of Glory. Amelie's Audrey Tautou plays Mathilde, a simple provincial lass who spends virtually every one of Engagement's 134 minutes searching for her lost soulmate, a missing French army recruit. Like Amelie (only with a less interesting sense of humor and a limp), Mathilde devotes herself to finding true love, although she takes a considerably less innovative approach. Her investigation yields some interesting results, though, as conflicting versions of reality emerge, weaving a richly confounding, Rashomon-like tapestry of the truth. The film becomes a maze of loose ends and detours, all rendered in typically stunning visual form by Jeunet. Even the most inventive visuals can't completely redeem an earthbound script, though, and the later sections of the film occasionally forget that this director's movies are best when they're allowed to fly. Ultimately, this is a film to be admired and appreciated, not to be devoured whole or ravished by. Jeunet seems to have created the epic he felt was demanded of him, but the filmmaker didn't quite give us the movie either he or we deserve. Currently playing at Sunrise Cinemas. Call to confirm. 1/2
