NEW THIS WEEK:
GUESS WHO? (PG-13) An updating of Guess Who's Coming to Dinner's societal critique/comedy from the late '60s, retold from a contemporary African-American angle and with the genders reversed (e.g. wary black dad deals with nervous white boy marrying into the family). Oh, and that's Ashton Kutcher apparently stepping into Sidney Poitier's shoes as the interracial X-factor. So this is progress? Also stars Bernie Mac. Opens March 25 at local theaters. (Not Reviewed)
IMAGINARY HEROES (R) We've seen this story way too many times before - at least half of them at the Sundance Film Festival - and this particular version is one of the weakest yet. It's all here - the angst-ridden, dysfunctional suburban family, the weird-for-weirdness' sake characters, the gratuitously depressing story arc - and I didn't believe any of it for a second. Sigourney Weaver delivers a sporadically amusing performance as the matriarch of the film's battered and broken brood, but that's about the only reason to see this derivative and badly written Ordinary People-Lite. Imaginary Heroes is shallow stuff pretending to be deep, a movie that strives for profundity but that would do well to remember that cynical does not necessarily equal smart. Also stars Jeff Daniels and Emile Hirsch. Opens March 25 at local theaters. 
1/2
MISS CONGENIALITY 2: ARMED AND FABULOUS (PG-13) Workmanlike writing and direction are the best things you can say about this sequel in which agent Gracie Hart (Sandra Bullock), now a big media celebrity doing PR for the FBI, gets pulled back into active duty when her pal, Miss USA, is kidnapped. There's a female buddy movie angle here too - with Regina King on hand as the antagonistic bodyguard with whom Bullock will inevitably bond - and a couple of forgettable sidekicks, including a clueless male agent and Bullock's mincing Queer Eye for the FBI Agent stylist. The film juggles its various elements, mixing a little bit of comedy with a little bit of action, but not much happens and it's all equally predictable and bland. A virtual cameo by William Shatner breaths momentary life into the proceedings, but the rest is numbingly dull and listless, right down to the obligatory outtakes over the closing credits. Also stars Treat Williams, Ernie Hudson, Enrique Murciano and Diedrich Bader. Opens March 25 at local theaters.
RECENT RELEASES:
ALONE IN THE DARK (R) All that's missing is Shaggy and Scooby, in this based-on-a-video-game spookfest about a "detective of the paranormal" (Christian Slater) and his cute girlfriend (Tara Reid) investigating zombie shenanigans at - wait for it now - Shadow Island. Also stars Stephen Dorff. (Not Reviewed)
ARE WE THERE YET? (PG) Sweetly moronic comedy with Ice Cube as a dedicated player and confirmed kid-hater who falls for a pretty single mom (Nia Long) and winds up chaperoning her children on what is supposed to be a short trip from Portland to Vancouver. 1/2
THE ASSASSINATION OF RICHARD NIXON (R) Forget Jamie Foxx in Ray. The best actor in a film from last year was Sean Penn in this quietly intense portrait of a disillusioned man being pushed farther and farther to the fringes of society. Penn stars as Sam Bicke, a Travis Bickle-like loser unlucky in love and increasingly agitated by the injustices he sees all around him. The film's Taxi Driver connections are unavoidable as The Assassination of Richard Nixon goes about depicting the breakdown and ultimate, tragic transformation of Penn's character, but there's no denying the power of this particular vision. Also stars Naomi Watts and Don Cheadle. 1/2
THE AVIATOR (PG-13) Martin Scorsese's biopic about Howard Hughes (played here by Leonardo DiCaprio) begins in the 1920s with Hughes' flirtation with Hollywood, segueing into his affairs with the likes of Katherine Hepburn (an uncanny impersonation by Cate Blanchette) and Ava Gardner (a lightweight Kate Beckinsale), his outrageous financial triumphs and his steady surrender to his delusions. The Aviator covers a lot of other ground, too, and the question becomes how could one film do justice to this life. The answer, of course, is that it can't. But Scorsese has given us a big, muscular epic that, while not ranking with his very best work, is at least two films in one. 1/2
BECAUSE OF WINN-DIXIE (PG) Family fare based on the perennial best seller, featuring an adorable little girl bonding with a cute dog, and a cast that includes Hollywood icons Cicely Tyson and Eva Marie Saint and musician Dave Matthews. You could probably do worse. Also stars Jeff Daniels and AnnaSophia Robb. (Not Reviewed)
BAD EDUCATION (NR) Pedro Almodovar's intricately convoluted noir fantasy is dark, dense, maybe even dangerous stuff, but the film candy-coats its Big Ideas in the outrageous kink of the director's earliest movies as well as the eloquent symmetries of his more recent melodramas, presenting its story-within-a-story as a sort of greatest-hits package from this remarkable Spanish filmmaker. The movie spirals in multiple directions as we watch an autobiographical account of schooldays filled with forbidden passion mutate into a many-headed hydra as it passes through the memories of the film's various narrators. The tale that's spun becomes a sordid but surprisingly poignant web of intrigue, abuse and revenge, of sex, drugs, love and betrayal, and each time the story unfolds, another angle is presented, revealing new information that calls into question everything that's come before. Stars Gael Garcia Bernal, Fele Martinez, and Daniel Gimenez-Cacho.
BE COOL (PG-13) John Travolta returns as wise guy-turned-movie-producer Chili Palmer in this disjointed and very disappointing sequel to the 1995 oddball comedy Get Shorty. Despite the occasional amusing bit, Be Cool is a flat, episodic mess that often just seems like an excuse to string together a bunch of gratuitous celebrity cameos (including a fun one from Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as a very bad bodyguard), and a reason to get Travolta and Uma Thurman back on the dance floor together again. The setting's been changed from the movie biz to the music biz in Be Cool, with a sliver of a plot about Travolta's character's efforts to help a female singer make it to the top, but the film's periodic winking at its own clichés are almost as clumsy and uninspired as the clichés themselves. Also stars Vince Vaughn, Harvey Keitel and Christina Milian.
BOOGEYMAN (PG-13) A young man (Barry Watson) returns home to face the shadowy creature who tormented him as a child. The movie's million-dollar question - is the thingie real or a figment of the imagination? - sounds like an instant retread of any number of other recent horror flicks. Also stars Skye McCole Bartusiak and Lucy Lawless. (Not Reviewed)
BORN INTO BROTHELS (NR) Academy Award-winning documentary about the children of Calcutta prostitutes and the efforts of filmmaker Zana Briski to get the kids out of their Red Light Hell and into some better place. Briski, a photojournalist by trade, equips the children with simple point-and-shoot cameras, teaches them the basics of photography, and we watch as the budding young artists use their newfound ability to document their world as a means of rising above it. It's a fascinating process, all captured in this film, and even though it's a foregone conclusion that not all of the kids will be somehow magically empowered (their environment is simply too overwhelming and too awful for that to happen), there's a substantial amount of hopefulness to be found in Born Into Brothels. Briski is nothing if not a dedicated humanitarian, so much so that the film suffers a bit by having the filmmaker inject so much of herself into the proceedings (by necessity, some might argue), but there's no denying that this is finally the kids' show all the way. It's also, at root, a moving testimony to the transformative power of art. Co-directed by Ross Kauffman. Currently playing at Tampa Theatre in Tampa, and Burns Court Cinemas in Sarasota. 1/2
BRIDE AND PREJUDICE (PG-13) Jane Austen with songs and dances? Hey, youbetcha. The new film from Anglo-Indian filmmaker Gurinder Chadha (Bend It Like Beckham) is a deliriously colorful ode to the rich fantasies of Bollywood as well as a fast and loose adaptation of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice - and it might just be this Brit-born-and-bred director's craftiest fusion of East-West yet. The movie's musical numbers introduce most of its key conflicts, as well as the male and female leads who will spend the first half of the movie squabbling and the second half trying to find a way into one another's arms. A charisma oozing Aishwarya Rai is delightful in her first English-speaking role, as the feisty, free-spirited heroine who appreciates what's good in the western world, but who values her own heritage above all. The movie doesn't fare so well with Rai's Caucasian counterpart - a less-than-dynamic Martin Henderson as the culturally chauvinistic but ultimately redeemable Darcy - but there's so much else going on here that we hardly notice. Chadha's take on Austen may seem frivolous or even a tad irreverent to purists, but this breezy romantic comedy cuts right to the chase of the author's sense, if not her sensibility. 1/2
THE CHORUS (PG-13) French Drama The Chorus (Les Choristes) falls into that schmaltzy genre of film that features a plucky teacher who refuses to consign his students to mediocrity's ranks. Clement (Gerard Jugnot) is the appealing star, a nicely frumpy Wallace Shawn-type with disappearing chin and dumpling face. In 1949, the failed musician takes a job at a rural reform school, where he discovers an in-house choir of angels in the school's unruly children. While The Chorus sticks closely to the World's Best Teacher script, it does attempt to draw a convincing picture of what's at stake and offers some good reasons as to why some of the children are such shits.
-Felicia Feaster
CLOSER (R) Julia Roberts, Jude Law, Natalie Portman and Clive Owen play sexual (and maybe, just maybe, romantic) musical chairs in a raw-boned ballet of what director Mike Nichols probably intends as modern alienation. Law's would-be writer and Portman's off-and-on stripper are Couple No. 1, and Roberts' long-suffering photographer and Owen's rude-and-crude dermatologist are Couple No. 2, although each time the movie jumps forward in time it seems like someone is screaming at someone for screwing someone else. Nichols and writer Patrick Marber give us some moments of genuine, albeit vicious, power here (particularly in the film's later stages), but Closer's basic take on self-destructive relationships often seems like it's been chiseled with a sledgehammer - and it's certainly nothing new. 1/2
COACH CARTER (PG-13) Samuel L. Jackson stars in a drama based on the true story of a high school basketball coach who valued grades as much as the ability to win games. Also stars Rob Brown and Vincent Laresca. (Not Reviewed)
CONSTANTINE (R) Like the Hellblazer comic book on which it's based, Constantine aims for a dense fusion of pulp noir and Gothic horror and, for the most part, the movie pulls it off. Balanced neatly between the deadly serious and the tongue-in-cheek, the movie posits a vaguely timeless L.A. where angels, demons and assorted half-breed mutations are commonplace, and then seals the deal with everybody's favorite bad actor, Keanu Reeves, as a chain-smoking, psychic gumshoe trying to keep the legions of Satan at bay. Constantine is a guilty pleasure, for sure, but a fairly classy one; the film is thick on atmosphere and blessedly brief on balls-to-the-wall action, and the lushly fatalistic mood and noir-ish take on a fantasy genre happily recall some of the best bits from Blade Runner. Also stars Rachel Weisz, Shia LeBeouf, Tilda Swinton, Djimon Hounsou and Pruitt Taylor Vince. 1/2
CURSED (PG-13) Wes Craven's latest creepfest reportedly finds the director in a more conventional, less post-modern mode than Scream, with Christina Ricci and Jesse Eisenberg starring as teens suddenly endowed with mysterious powers that could destroy everyone they touch. Also stars Joshua Jackson and Shannon Elizabeth. (Not Reviewed)
DARKNESS (R) Spanish filmmaker Jaume Balaguero, who previously gave us the excellent The Nameless, seems like a fish out of water directing a cast of English-speaking actors in a disjointed story about an American family coming apart at the seams while holed up in an isolated home in the Spanish countryside. Stars Anna Paquin, Lena Olin and Iain Glen.
DIARY OF A MAD BLACK WOMAN (PG-13) Tyler Perry's curious blend of ham-fisted melodrama, low-brow humor, rousing gospel music and fervent messages of religious devotion features Perry himself as a pistol-packing grandma who, despite her aggressive and sometimes raunchy ways, can ultimately be counted on for good advice about the merits of strictly adhering to God's Plan. Diary of a Mad Black Woman is inconsequential stuff at best, and stunningly idiotic at worst (or maybe it's the other way around), the by-the-numbers tale of a sweet little mouse of a housewife named Helen (Kimberly Elise) who is summarily dumped by her rich, callous hubby, but eventually finds happiness with a new, impossibly perfect boyfriend. Kimberly Elise is an uncommonly good actress (she was flat-out tremendous in Woman, Thou Art Loosed), but you wouldn't know it from her work here - and she's by far the best thing in this movie. There's barely a sliver of subtlety or nuance to any of these characters (nor to the story), but the whole uncomplicated, two-dimensional nature of the project probably just adds to the single-minded power of its faith-driven message. Also stars Steve Harris, Shemar Moore, Tamara Taylor and Cecily Tyson.
HIDE AND SEEK (R) Robert De Niro stars as a distraught father realizing his little girl's imaginary friend might actually be some sort of terrible, unknown entity - and not nearly so imaginary after all. Also stars Dakota Fanning and Famke Janssen. (Not Reviewed)
HOTEL RWANDA (R) The first film about the Rwanda genocide of 1994 - when nearly 1 million Tutsi were slaughtered by Hutu tribesmen in barely 100 days - is earnest, informative and well-meaning, but ultimately just a bit toothless. Don Cheadle gives a nicely understated performance as the manager of an upscale Rwandan hotel secretly transformed into a refuge for those facing extinction, including his own family. The film takes a Schindler's List-lite approach to its tragic topic, focusing on relief efforts and survivors, with little overt violence or gore on display and just a sprinkling of scenes hinting at the real extent of the horror that's occurring. We know the situation is terrible mainly because various characters keep telling us that it is in a series of melodramatic and/or preachy monologues that turn the film into a message movie that's more tearjerker than jaw-dropper. Also stars Nick Nolte and Sophie Okonedo.
ICE PRINCESS (G) Michelle Trachtenberg stars as a bookish high-schooler who transforms into a figure-skating swan in this latest offering from Disney. Much drama ensues involving her mother, some skating prodigies and a cute zamboni driver. Also stars Joan Cusack and Kim Cattrall. (Not Reviewed)
THE JACKET (PG-13) The early sections are enigmatic, filled with haunting visuals and foreboding, Gothic atmosphere, but when The Jacket's mysteries are eventually revealed, they're simply not all that, well, mysterious. The storytelling methods here deliberately mirror the fractured thought processes of the film's narrator - a mental patient (Adrien Brody) who might or might not be traveling between the present and the future to solve the mystery of his own life and death - so it's impossible to say for certain what we're to make of it all. (The upside of this, of course, is that even if you hate the film, you may still have fun arguing about what it really "means.") Like Jacob's Ladder, this is another film about an unhinged veteran of an unpleasant war, haunted by demons that might be real and might be figments of his own messed-up mind. Both movies trade in conspiracy theories, rampant paranoia, muddled metaphysics, temporal disorientation, barrages of ambient sound, and the supremely seductive notion of latching on to an unpopular war as a metaphor for whatever ails ya. Metaphysically inclined viewers might take the entire movie as the extended hallucination of a deranged mind, or even as the final flash of a consciousness being extinguished, although to this viewer the whole thing ultimately feels a lot like a surprisingly generic sci-fi thriller, albeit one with delusions of grandeur. Also stars Keira Knightley, Kris Kristofferson and Jennifer Jason Leigh.
MAN OF THE HOUSE (PG-13) Judging from the trailer and the, uh, concept alone, this looks like the very bad pilot for the worst sitcom you never saw. Just to press the point, I first laid eyes on this movie's trailer one night during a commercial break on Mad TV, and my wife and I were both convinced that it was part of the show - just one more absurd spoof of a movie so bad nobody would ever make it. Tommy Lee Jones stars as a cranky Texas Ranger living in a house filled with perky cheerleaders. Also stars Anne Archer, Brian Van Holt, Christina Milian and Paula Garces. (Not Reviewed)
MEET THE FOCKERS (PG-13) If you liked Meet the Parents, odds are you'll love this sequel, which has pretty much everything the original had plus a little something else just to make sure all the bases are covered. Besides the patented oil-and-water dynamic between Ben Stiller and his future in-laws, we get an even more strained (and consequently, in movie logic, wackier) dynamic between those same, uptight WASPy future in-laws and Stiller's own oversexed and way ethnic parents (Dustin Hoffman and Barbra Streisand). The main show here is Hoffman and Streisand, who are actually quite funny together, despite being saddled with a script that too often relies on jokes about old people having sex and that apparently thinks the ultimate in hilarity is to simply have someone say anything that pops into their heads in Yiddish. Also stars Blythe Danner and Teri Polo.
THE PACIFIER (PG) Vin Diesel does Ahnold doing his Kindergarten Cop thing, as a tough ex-Navy S.E.A.L. charged with protecting a pack of adorable kiddies. Also stars Lauren Graham, Faith Ford and Brittany Snow. (Not Reviewed)
PAPER CLIPS (G) A well-meaning but not particularly engaging documentary about a group of high school students from an isolated Tennessee community who, after learning about the horrors of WWII, erect an elaborate memorial to the victims of the Holocaust. The movie's heart is clearly in the right place, but the phenomenon of young minds opening up to history and the world would be much better served if the film took a less sentimental and self-congratulatory tone, qualities that aren't helped by music and narration that yank our emotions around like someone trying to train a none-too-bright puppy. 1/2
POOH'S HEFFALUMP MOVIE (G) Pooh, Piglet, Tigger and company are back with more important life lessons about the value of friendship, sharing and buying as many tickets as possible to Disney movies. Featuring the voices of Brenda Blethyn, Jim Cummings, Ken Sansom and David Ogden Stiers. (Not Reviewed)
RACING STRIPES (PG) A young girl adopts a baby zebra, introduces him to a farm full of wacky barnyard animals (all of whom can talk), and dreams of turning him into a champion racer. Featuring the voices of Frankie Muniz, Michael Clarke Duncan, Dustin Hoffman, Jeff Foxworthy and Whoopi Goldberg. (Not Reviewed)
RAY (PG-13) The movie presents Charles as a fusion of musical genius, tortured soul and Daredevil/Zatoichi (with an impressively developed hearing sense compensating for his blindness), and then dutifully walks us through the high and low points of his life. The music is glorious, of course (with a heavy concentration on Ray's brilliant mid- to late-'50s period), and Jamie Foxx's performance/impersonation ranks with Jim Carrey's impeccable Andy Kaufman, but Ray is not immune to many of the problems that inevitably plague biopics. As is common with this form, the movie tends to play like a greatest hits (and flops) of Charles' life, with equal weight given to nearly everything, too much crammed in, and too little transitional material. Also stars Kerry Washington and Regina King. 1/2
RED LIGHTS (NR) Based on a novel by Georges Simenon, Red Lights is an austere, oddly gripping blend of mystery, marital drama and psychological thriller that's not quite any of those things. Director Cedric Kahn begins by focusing intently on his two main characters, an alcoholic husband and his somewhat frosty wife (Jean-Pierre Darrousin and Carole Bouquet), placing them in a car together in the middle of the night and simply watching the kinks and cracks in their marriage reveal themselves as their nocturnal ride progresses. The film goes in all sorts of unexpected directions from there, throwing a few more or less traditional scares our way (an escaped prisoner figures prominently in the proceedings), but mostly discovering its suspense in small details, silence, real time and other unlikely places. Also stars Vincent Denlard. 1/2
THE RING TWO (PG-13) Enigma and atmosphere loomed large in the original Ring, but all that is essentially absent from The Ring Two, leaving us with just another pedestrian horror sequel. The tormented mother-son pair (Naomi Watts and David Dorman) from the original movie are back, relocated in a small Oregon town where, wouldn't you just know it, the dreaded, death-dealing forces that haunted them in the first Ring resurface. The movie is basically just Watts and her young son being put through their more-or-less predictable paces by the original film's demonic entity (whose inscrutable strangeness now seems little more than just another generic, Freddy Krueger-esque boogeyman), with recycled images from the first Ring scattered throughout. There are a handful of interesting moments, and the film almost achieves some sort of belated lift-off in its last act, but it's ultimately just a mess, a typical case of too many script doctors canceling out each other's better impulses. You know you're in trouble when the only real innovation worth mentioning is a herd of evil, computer-generated deer. Also stars Simon Baker, Elizabeth Perkins and Sissy Spacek.
TESTOSTERONE (NR) The tone lurches blindly from sunny comedy to unpleasant psychodrama in this sloppily scripted tale of a gay comic book illustrator (oops, I mean "graphic novelist") who travels to Buenos Aires in search of his hunky Latino lover and winds up embroiled in a convoluted mystery that makes very little sense. David Sutcliffe (Rory's dad from The Gilmore Girls) is passable in the lead role, and Sonia Braga turns in a nice cameo, but virtually everyone and everything else in this mess misses the mark. Even the exotic Buenos Aires locations aren't utilized to full advantage. Also stars Antonio Sabato.
UNCLE NINO (PG) Sub-moronic corn about a wise old Italian peasant (Pierrino Mascarino) who comes to visit his suburban American relatives and turns everyone's unhappy lives into pure sweetness and light. Joe Mantegna stars as the workaholic dad who doesn't have time for his wife and kids until kindly Uncle Nino teaches him the value of smiling, listening, puppy dogs and making pizza from scratch. The movie's attempts to charm us are transparently by-the-numbers and clumsy throughout, and the whole thing is as poorly written and acted as it is conceived. Also stars Anne Archer and Gina Mantegna. Currently playing at Sunrise Cinemas in Tampa.
THE UPSIDE OF ANGER (R) Another take on middle-aged romance and the gender wars, among other things, that tackles territory previously staked out by As Good as It Gets and, more often than not, gets it right. As the title suggests, this is a movie that's ostensibly about angry or otherwise disappointed people, two of whom are aging alcoholics - but against all odds, The Upside of Anger turns that daunting subject matter into what is sometimes very funny material. This movie is far from perfect, but it's still a must-see, if only to see Joan Allen in a career-topping performance as a suburban housewife dealing with four grown (and nearly-grown) children, as well as a washed-up baseball player (Kevin Costner) who comes sniffing around and winds up staying for the long run. Costner's no slouch either as the boozing, aging good time boy getting by on the fumes of fame and fortune. All the expected bases are covered here, but the film manages to take us to a few unexpected places, too. Also stars Erika Christensen, Evan Rachel Wood, Keri Russell and Mike Binder (who also directs). 1/2
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE'S THE MERCHANT OF VENICE (NR) Shakespeare's most controversial play gets a bit of a face lift from director Michael Radford, who plays a little fast and loose with Big Will's story but remains true to the breadth of his humanist spirit. Radford's The Merchant of Venice contemporizes Shakespeare's text with small but crucial touches, punching up the homoerotism in the air between best buddies Antonio (Jeremy Irons) and Bassanio (Joseph Fiennes), and, most importantly, providing a historical framework for the demonization of the Jews that the play takes for granted. This goes some way towards offering a partial explanation for the personal monstrousness of Shylock - the titular Jewish merchant who has, not without reason, earned the play a reputation for anti-Semitism - but Merchant is still a problematic play and a problematic movie. Al Pacino is interesting as a shriveled but semi-sympathetic Shylock, bleating and bellowing lines in a weird half-Yiddish, half-Bronx accent, and gratuitously extending syllables like Dylan did on stage for most of the last few decades. Also stars Lynne Collins. Now playiang at Burns court Cinemas.
THE WOODSMAN (NR) In its mostly quiet, deliberately paced way, The Woodsman simply observes its recently paroled subject, Walter (a slow-burning and almost painfully intense Kevin Bacon), struggling to overcome his nature as he begins the process of picking up the pieces of what might loosely be called his life. There are a handful of minor characters here and some non-essential sub-plots, but The Woodsman is at its best when nothing much is really happening, in a strict, story-driven sense - when the movie is simply recording Walter wrestling with his considerable demons. The Woodsman admirably refrains from passing judgment, but it's not beyond stretching metaphors to encourage us to see Walter as a kind of Holy/Unholy Trinity all wrapped up in one tightly wound bundle of nerves - he's rescuer, wolf and Red Riding Hood, a conflicted hero who has to slay his own big, bad self in order to free the innocent lamb waiting inside. As human goods go, Walter's about as damaged as they come, but the last thing The Woodsman wants is for us to see him as a demon; even if his nature repels us, the film makes it surprisingly easy to be moved by the efforts of this tortured and confused man to understand himself, by his desire for transformation. Also stars Kyra Sedgwick, Benjamin Bratt and Eve. 1/2
Reviewed entries by Lance Goldenberg unless otherwise noted.
