NEW THIS WEEK:
CALLAS FOREVER (R) Fanny Ardant portrays notorious opera diva Maria Callas in this film by director Franco Zeffirelli. Also starts Joan Plowright and Jeremy Irons. Opens Dec. 17 at Burns Court Cinemas. Call to confirm. (Not Reviewed)
CONDEMNED (NR) Here's something you won't likely see in a promotional brochure on life in Sarasota. Local filmmakers Diane Mason and Darryle Saffer uncover life behind the closed doors of the Janie Poe housing project, where children and families make their homes amid roach- and mold-infested quarters. The filmmakers place Janie Poe within the context of the larger debate around public housing, while tossing questions to the Sarasota Housing Authority, such as — how did this happen? One showing only, at 10 a.m. Sat., Dec. 18, at Burns Court Cinemas in Sarasota. Viewing is free.—ALLYSON GONZALEZ
ENDURING LOVE (R) Director Roger Michell is an almost too-eclectic filmmaker who makes very good mainstream genre movies, such as the romantic comedy Notting Hill and the thriller Changing Lanes, and somewhat less successful art films like The Mother and now this one. Enduring Love features some fascinating ideas and a delicately unhinged performance by Rhys Ifans, but the film, despite its pretensions of being something grander, is basically just an artier Fatal Attraction. Daniel Craig stars as a troubled academic haunted by a recent tragedy and being stalked by an enigmatic stranger (Ifans) who experienced that tragedy with him. The film throws enough twists and turns at us to keep things interesting, but for most of its running time it can't quite seem to make up its mind whether it's going to be some moody, metaphorical think piece or something more along the lines of an old fashioned thriller-diller. Eventually it settles for the latter, sort of. Also stars Samantha Morton and Bill Nighy. Opens Dec. 17 at Channelside Cinemas in Tampa and Regal Hollywood in Sarasota. Call theaters to confirm. LEMONY SNICKET'S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS (PG) Morbidly witty, imaginatively stylized and with surprisingly little pandering to tiny or otherwise tiny-minded viewers, there's much to enjoy in this dark-but-not-too-dark fantasy about the trials and tribulations of a trio of ingenious orphans. Jim Carrey dons a series of elaborate disguises as the young pups' nemesis, an evil actor who keeps putting the kiddies in a succession of increasingly harrowing predicaments from which they must use all their considerable, McGuyver-like resources to escape. It's not exactly Shakespeare, but there are lots of curious characters, bizarre and outlandish landscapes, and a tone that's more or less faithful to the dark, disarmingly dry sensibility of the original books. The film is a production designer's dream, with wonderfully odd little Edward Gorey-esque flourishes and filigrees loitering about the edges of nearly every frame. Also stars Liam Aiken, Emily Browning, Timothy Spall, Billy Connolly, Meryl Streep and Jude Law. Opens Dec. 17 at local theaters. 1/2
SPANGLISH (PG-13) James L. Brooks' new movie is terrible because it's long-winded, pointless, shamelessly manipulative and not particularly funny, but it's also something new and even more terrible: a mean-spirited feel-good movie. The basic scenario here is pure sitcom — mildly eccentric yuppie couple hires beautiful, fiery Mexican housekeeper and mayhem ensues — but the execution is flat and extremely unpleasant, with a 130 minute running time that leaves little doubt that Brooks feels he's doing something important here. The characters are, without exception, either underdeveloped or drawn in ridiculously broad strokes, particularly Tea Leoni's hardbodied queen bitch of a hausfrau, who crosses the line from quirky to just plain cruel early on and leaves the movie with a big, fat hole in its emotional center. The plot stumbles along with all the predictability and shallowness of a grade-C TV sitcom but very little of the snap, while the dribs and drabs of affection passing between the characters — particularly Adam Sandler and Paz Vega — aren't particularly satisfying or convincing. Brooks was apparently going through a messy divorce while he was directing Spanglish and was trying to "work something out" in the film, but the result is far and away his worst movie. Also stars Cloris Leachman and Sarah Steele. Opens Dec. 17 at local theaters. A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT (R) Set in France near the end of World War I, A Very Long Engagement tells the story of a woman's moving and sometimes comical search for her fiance, one of five French soldiers who have mysteriously disappeared. Opens Dec. 17 at Burns Court Cinemas. Call to confirm. (Not Reviewed)
RECENT RELEASES:
AFTER THE SUNSET (PG-13) Although there are worse ways to while away 90-some minutes, After the Sunset isn't really exciting or original enough to engage us as a heist movie, and it's not funny enough to succeed as a comedy. Pierce Brosnan (further distancing himself from the 007 image in flip-flops and a gray, gristled chin) and Salma Hayek are retired jewel thieves playing elaborately pointless cat-and-mouse games with FBI agent Woody Harrelson while they consider that inevitable one last heist. The movie is pleasant to look at (particularly the island locations and a frequently semi-clad Hayek), and some of the dialogue is fairly clever and quirky, but we've seen this Elmore Leonard-lite shtick too many times before. Also stars Don Cheadle. 1/2
ALEXANDER (R) Shorn of the shock cuts and other postmodernist tricks of the trade that have typified his style, Oliver Stone's three-hour biopic of Alexander the Great is, at best, a curiously uninvolving affair. Alexander is notable for being Stone's attempt to craft a historical epic more or less in the traditional mold, but the film gains little from this strategy and in fact falls prey to many of the bugaboos of the form. There are lots of long, boring speeches; hokey dialogue; an unintentionally silly melange of accents (from Irish brogues to faux-Slavic); a couple of extended battle scenes where the cry of "Glory!" becomes a four-syllable word; a horribly manipulative soundtrack (courtesy of Vangelis); and a narrator who tells us about key events in the hero's life so that we don't have to actually witness them for ourselves. Colin Farrell makes a surprisingly lackluster Alexander, playing the great conqueror as a whiny, poofy-haired surfer dude with mother issues and an eye for the boys. In place of his usual conspiracy theories and cinematic provocations, Stone layers in heaping helpings of pop psychology, mainly manifested by Angelina Jolie as Alexander's dominating, guilt-tripping, weirdly sensualized mother (she does some interesting things with snakes, too). Stone throws in everything but a vagina with teeth, but he doesn't seem to really understand the elements he's tinkering with, and doesn't have enough control over them to keep everything from turning into some ludicrous, quasi-camp interlude that seems to exist outside of the main body of the movie. Likewise for the depiction of Alexander's sexuality, which gives us lots of come-hither stares between Farrell and various doe-eyed boys but leaves the only on-screen sex to a strictly hetero coupling between the star and a mightily breasted Rosario Dawson. In the end, the movie's simply confused and a bit of a bore, like a long-winded drunk who stayed too long at the party. Also stars Val Kilmer, Anthony Hopkins, Jared Leto and Christopher Plummer. ALFIE (R) Jude Law stars in this slick but pointless remake of the 1966 Michael Caine star-maker about a womanizing, commitment-phobic cad. Behavior that seemed shocking and provocative on a movie screen nearly four decades ago, however, now simply seems a bit inane and even creepy, and this new version of Alfie can't quite figure out what to do with its eponymous hero or how to feel about him. Law's character spends most of the movie yakking directly to the camera, endlessly re-stating versions of his personal philosophy ("It's all about FBB — face, boobs, buns)" and flitting from one woman to the next. Similarly, the movie flits from one Big Emotion to the next, starting out as a zippy and gleefully superficial ode to a superficial sex addict, then executing some wild mood swings into unreservedly maudlin territory before swinging back again. The action's been transplanted from swinging '60s London to contemporary Manhattan, but otherwise the movie acts as if feminism, AIDS or even the notion of political correctness had never happened. Even during those moments when Law's character begins expressing something resembling remorse or the rudimentary stirrings of a conscience, the movie's not sharp enough to point out the multiple ironies implicit in the sadness. Marisa Tomei is very good here as one of Alfie's conquests, and there's a nice scene involving Susan Sarandon (another conquest) and some absinthe, but otherwise don't waste your time. Also stars Omar Epps, Nia Long and Sienna Miller. BEING JULIA (NR) "Luminous" is a word that film critics tend to overuse when describing beautiful actresses lighting up the screen, beautifully, but hardly any other word will do for Annette Bening's career-topping performance here. The film itself is lushly mounted but otherwise pretty standard stuff — Bening plays an aging diva in 1930s London, engaged in a clandestine affair with a younger man — but Bening herself is on screen nearly every moment, and it's impossible to take our eyes off her. Director Istvan Szabo (Mephisto, Sunshine) invests the material with an appealingly light touch, lovely visual flourishes and as much wit as we might expect in what is essentially a pretty dull story. The film becomes better during a last act that manufactures some All About Eve-like backstage intrigue and runs with it, but the real reason to see the film is Bening, who is extraordinary. Also stars Jeremy Irons, Juliet Stevens and Michael Gambon. Currently Playing at Burns Court Cinemas. Call to confirm. 1/2
BLADE: TRINITY (R) Wesley Snipes returns as the iconic, elaborately tattooed hybrid human-vampire, but this time he's reduced to a minor character in his own movie, overshadowed by a pair of young, vampire-hunting hipsters. One is Jessica Biel, who slinks around exposing her midriff when not kicking vampire butt, and the other is Ryan Reynolds - yep, the guy who played Van Wilder — who engages in incessant, lively banter with Blade and supplies most of the movie's comedic moments. Between the banter and all the buddy-cop conventions, this could almost be Blade: Another 48 Hours. If it weren't for all the vampires, Blade: Trinity could be almost any faceless, Hollywood action-comedy, complete with wall-to-wall explosions, pedestrian fight scenes, thumping hippy-hoppy score and headache-inducing editing. We quickly become numb to all the blood, guts and speed, and there really isn't much spooky stuff to be found, much less atmosphere. The scariest bits here are a withered-up Kris Kristofferson (on screen for blessedly brief moments) and a vampiric Parker Posey, looking much like one of those dysfunctional junkies she plays in all those indie films, only with sharper teeth and worse hair. Blade: Trinity also features no less a baddie than Dracula himself (now known simply as Drake), although he's a bland, gold-chain-wearing beefcake, shirt unbuttoned to display the bulging pecs where his acting ability apparently resides. Also stars Dominic Purcell. BRIDGET JONES: THE EDGE OF REASON (PG-13) Bridget Jones is far from happy as a pig in shit, but that's exactly where she lands — wallowing with a bunch of swine in a tub of excrement — within the first few minutes of this bouncy but not particularly pleasant sequel to the popular 2001 film. From there, it's a short step to extreme wide-angle close-ups of B.J.'s considerable bum (accompanied by an off-screen voice demanding "get a shot of that porker"), as Edge of Reason piles on scene after embarrassing scene where the game plan apparently equates maximum humiliation of its heroine with maximum laughter. Most of the movie simply retreads variations on the first film's familiar shtick, to somewhat more boring effect, but Edge of Reason's big mistake is falling over that critical fine line between laughing with its main character and laughing at her. The movie often feels like a chick flick designed by Three Stooges fans, with a klutzier, frumpier, blotchier and generally more pathetic Bridget falling all over herself while failing miserably at romance, and eventually winding up in a Thai prison where she hands out copies of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus to her female cellmates. Seriously. Stars Renee Zellweger, Colin Firth and Hugh Grant. 1/2
CHRISTMAS WITH THE KRANKS (PG) A holiday movie that's about as pleasant as sitting in a dentist's chair with a drill boring into your teeth. Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis play a married couple being guilt-tripped and virtually terrorized by their friends and neighbors because of their decision to take a vacation cruise rather than hang around and participate in the holidays. Things become even more chaotic when their grown daughter unexpectedly shows up, causing Allen and Curtis to put together a last-minute holiday extravaganza. The movie's first half amounts to a series of astonishingly unfunny sequences that beat us over the head with the commercialization of Christmas, while the second half does a complete about-face and makes with the sappy stuff. The film's only consistency is that it's frenetic and stupid throughout, with Curtis' performance mainly consisting of her running around and shrieking at the top of her lungs. Also stars Dan Aykroyd and Julie Gonzalo. CLOSER (R) Julia Roberts, Jude Law, Natalie Portman and Clive Owen play sexual (and maybe, just maybe, romantic) musical chairs in a raw-boned ballet of what director Mike Nichols probably intends as modern alienation. Law's would-be writer and Portman's off-and-on stripper are Couple No. 1, and Robert's long-suffering photographer and Owen's rude-and-crude dermatologist are Couple No. 2, although each time the movie jumps forward in time it seems like someone is screaming at someone for screwing someone else. The whole mess is set in motion by Law's ungentlemanly vacillation between Portman and Roberts, but no one is blameless here: Owens is a boiling kettle of hostility and id, Roberts reciprocates Law's advances and then lies about it, and Portman does a few naughty things, too. Nichols and writer Patrick Marber give us some moments of genuine, albeit vicious, power here (particularly in the film's later stages), but Closer's basic take on self-destructive relationships often seems like it's been chiseled with a sledgehammer — and it's certainly nothing new. The film's two male characters could be a watered-down fusion of Jack Nicholson's needy, controlling man's man from Nichol's own (and much better) Carnal Knowledge from decades past, while the film's females are either underdeveloped (Roberts) or way too enigmatic for their own good (Portman). 1/2
FINDING NEVERLAND (PG) A holiday greeting card from Miramax, filled with gorgeous costumes, cute kids and posh English accents, Finding Neverland would appear to be a carefully calculated amalgamation of just about everything that appeals to Academy Awards voters. True enough, but it turns out the movie is also somewhat more than the sum of its pretty parts. The film depicts the friendship between Peter Pan creator J.M. Barrie (an unusually subdued Johnny Depp) and the five young sons of a beautiful young widow (Kate Winslet), giving us a romance, a coming-of-age tale, and an elaborate parlor game in which we're teased with the bits from Barrie's life that served as inspiration for his classic-to-be about a boy who refused to grow up. It's best to put history out of your mind here, since the movie whitewashes several key facts of Barrie's life, but then again Finding Neverland is a movie designed to lift spirits, not dash them. The film unfolds as a series of sweetly uplifting moments, fleeting mini-tragedies and whimsical fantasy interludes that eventually crystallize as Peter Pan. Mark Foster, a talented director previously responsible for the much grittier Monsters Ball, coaches solid performances from the cast and layers Neverland with pleasing symmetries, wit and moments that make good on a clear intention to appear "magical." What we get is pleasant enough but a bit too pre-digested to take completely seriously. Also stars Radha Mitchell, Julie Christie and Dustin Hoffman. 1/2
THE INCREDIBLES (PG) Having previously invested fish, bugs and tiny bits of plastic with human speech and emotions, Pixar have finally taken on real live human beings — and in honor of the occasion, they've opted for a slightly (but only slightly) more sophisticated, pop-culture-savvy approach. The Incredibles mines some familiar movie models — three parts action blockbuster to two parts classic spy flick, shaken not stirred, and complete with cool gadgets, dastardly arch-nemesis and a groovy Goldfinger-esque score. Like all of Pixar's little animated opuses, however, it is also essentially a love letter to the family unit, and although this smart and very funny movie's emotional center might be a touch less overtly warm and fuzzy than something like Finding Nemo, it still gets the job done nicely. Beyond that, the movie is filled with some spectacular animation and expertly realized action sequences, culminating in a final, Spy Kids-like blow-out where everyone gets a chance to strut their super stuff. And although it's become something of a cliche to say this about each new Pixar release, the results are pretty darned magical. Featuring the voices of Craig T. Nelson, Holly Hunter, Samuel L. Jackson and Jason Lee. THE MACHINIST (NR) Christian Bale sheds his pretty-boy image and some 60 pounds in order to play a tortured, skeletal loner who hasn't slept for a year and can't seem to distinguish between what's real and what's not. The film unfolds and Trevor slips deeper and deeper into what appears to be a delusional state, although the movie teases us with the possibility that maybe he really is the victim of some vast, bizarre conspiracy aimed at costing him his job, his sanity, maybe even his life. A smirking, bald-headed man in sunglasses keeps showing up everywhere; little notes with cryptic messages begin appearing on Trevor's fridge; and then there's that strange smell coming from his apartment. Events accumulate in strange, inexplicable patterns and every character, word and action — even inanimate objects, like a cup of coffee — begin to seem ominous. It's conceivable that the entire movie is Trevor's hallucination — he's as unreliable a narrator as the ones behind the wheel in Fight Club or Cronenberg's Spider or Polanski's Repulsion — and we're encouraged from the get-go to take everything we see with as many grains of salt as possible. The is-it-or-isn't-it reality submitted for our approval in The Machinist is far from inviting, but there's no denying that it manages to grab us from the first frame and not let go. Also stars Jennifer Jason Leigh, Aitana Sanchez-Gijon and John Sharian. 1/2
NATIONAL TREASURE (PG) Lightweight but entertaining yarn about a secret treasure hidden by the Founding Fathers, an invisible map on the back of the Declaration of Independence, and an enterprising treasure hunter (Nicholas Cage) who hopes to find what generations of his family members could not. The film could play as nothing more than an attempt to cash in on the massive success of The Da Vinci Code, but director Jon Turteltaub manage to keep the plot moving and the characters convincing. Cage is outstanding at the center of the film, always engaging and lending heft to the pseudo-history presented throughout the film (think of it more as name-dropping than actual history). The supporting players, including Diane Kruger as the love interest and Harvey Keitel as the cop investigating the case, are also terrific. Perhaps the film's biggest surprise is just how innocent it is, playing up adventure instead of violence and keeping the language mild. This one truly is for the whole family. —Joe Bardi
OCEAN'S 12 (PG-13) Much like its predecessor, there's nothing to be taken too seriously in Ocean's 12, but the movie is permeated with such quantities of tongue-in-cheek wit, style and all-around grooviness that it's often all we can do not to stand up in our seats and start dancing. Master thieves George Clooney, Brad Pitt and the rest of the Ocean gang are back in a gleefully convoluted plot that involves a couple of heists, a sexy detective (Catherine Zeta-Jones) in hot pursuit, a showdown with a rival criminal mastermind and an assortment of glitzy Euro-destinations including Rome, Paris, Amsterdam and Lake Como. The actors all appear to be having a grand old time and director Steven Soderbergh moves the film along at a clip, with a pleasantly off-kilter, loosey-goosey style that, not to put too fine a point on it, evokes the energy and attitude (not to mention the jump cuts and radical temporal shifts) of the early French New Wave. The movie nearly breaks its own spell in the end with a final plot twist involving Julia Roberts' character that's so postmodern meta-meta it nearly breaks the film's flow, but it turns out to only be a minor disruption in what is basically a very good time at the movies. The soundtrack is pretty stellar, too. Also stars Matt Damon, Andy Garcia, Don Cheadle and Vincent Cassel. 1/2
THE POLAR EXPRESS (G) An amazing technical achievement, but one with a very big heart (even if it does occasionally wear that heart a little too openly on its sleeve), Polar Express looks a lot like an instant holiday classic. Based on Chris Van Allsburg's popular book, this beautifully animated feature follows a magical train as it transports a group of children to the North Pole for a close encounter with the Clausmeister. Along the way, all sorts of strange things happen, things both inexplicably surreal and, sometimes, terribly exciting, and it all culminates in an irresistibly sappy message about the child-like joys of believing in believing. Director Robert Zemeckis handles the movie's frenetic action sequences in fine style, but is equally adept at communicating the atmospheric poetry of the long, nearly wordless stretches. Tom Hanks, whose voice and movements provided the template for no less than five of the movie's characters, is in fine form here as well, although there's still something just a little unintentionally creepy about watching digitally generated humans who are this close to being exactly like us, but aren't. Also features Eddie Deezen, Nona Gaye and Peter Scorlari. PRIMER (PG-13) A big hit at Sundance, this made-for-$7,000 project offers an intriguing premise in addition to all the buzz, but precious little reward. Writer-director Shane Carruth — who also produced, edited and photographed the film, as well as composing the music and acting in it — attempts to give us the more utilitarian, underexplored aspects of one of sci-fi's favorite what-if stories: the one about time travel. Carruth doesn't go for the big hooks or price-prohibitive special effects here; instead, we get a couple of techno-babbling geeks who just happen to whip up a time machine in their garage, as the movie spins a convoluted narrative that focuses on the practical considerations and potential problems of the invention. There are some fascinating thoughts here, but they're mostly buried among a faceless blur of awkward storytelling, nondescript visuals, dry and clunky dialogue, and acting that is generally pretty terrible. Primer isn't exactly your typical, low-budget independent movie — which is probably exactly why the folks at Sundance responded so favorably to it — but it could certainly take a lesson or two from those same indies in generating some cinematic pizzazz. Also stars David Sullivan. 1/2RAY (PG-13) While not quite the modern American classic we were hoping for, Ray is still solid entertainment and a particular joy for Ray Charles fans. The movie presents Charles as a fusion of musical genius, tortured soul and Daredevil/Zatoichi (with an impressively developed hearing sense compensating for his blindness), and then dutifully walks us through the high and low points of his life. We get the music (thankfully, and lots of it), the childhood traumas, the drugs, the womanizing, the refusal to see blindness as a handicap, and the eventual rise to fame. The music is glorious, of course (with a heavy concentration on Ray's brilliant mid- to late-'50s period), and Jamie Foxx's performance/impersonation ranks with Jim Carrey's impeccable Andy Kaufman, but Ray is not immune to many of the problems that inevitably plague bio-pics. As is common with this form, the movie tends to play like a greatest hits (and flops) of Charles' life, with equal weight given to nearly everything, too much crammed in, and too little transitional material. The movie makes a stab at a narrative center, supplied by Ray's lifelong battle with heroin, but it's a battle we barely know is being waged until the movie's last few scenes. But these are basically minor bumps in what is for the most part a pretty groovy road. Also stars Kerry Washington and Regina King. 1/2
SAW (R) There's an intriguing set-up here — two confused victims waiting for death in a filthy bathroom — but it quickly gives way to scads of clumsy exposition, awful acting and miscalculated shock tactics borrowed from other, better movies. Saw is barely the sum of its own plundered parts, and it undercuts even that modicum of creepiness by constantly cutting away to a series of unnecessary subplots and flashbacks that dissipate the film's energy. It's only a horror flick, though, so all of this would be forgivable if the movie would just shut up occasionally and scare us. The movie is bound to be someone's guilty pleasure, and I suppose it does try to show us a good time (while calling into question just how we define "good time"), but too much of it is either laughably inept or gratuitously ugly. Stars Cary Elwes, Leigh Whannell, Danny Glover and Monica Potter. 1/2
SIDEWAYS (R) Alexander Payne's latest film, like the director's previous About Schmidt, is a road movie that easily transcends its own sub-genre, a tragi-comic quest with no clear objectives but lots of priceless detours. There's no real end in sight, but it hardly matters; the fun is all in how we get there (or not). Sideways is also a buddy movie of sorts, a testosterone comedy that serves as a playful, sometimes painful and always spot-on dissection of the male psyche as it lurches toward middle age. The aging male buddies in question are a classic odd couple, depressed wannabe author Miles (Paul Giamatti) and cocky, washed-up actor Jack (Thomas Haden Church), two old pals spending some time together in California's wine country during the week before Jack's wedding. Sideways is not only incisive but also extremely funny as it goes about the business of detailing Jack's and Miles' excellent adventure, observing our not-quite-heroes as they hook up with a couple of wine-loving California girls and have themselves a fine old time built on the proverbial tissue of lies. Payne's film sneaks up on us in exactly the way its title suggests, zigging and zagging and segueing unconventionally but organically from scene to scene, bowling us over with beautifully drawn characters and unpredictable trajectories that somehow make perfect sense. Also stars Virginia Madsen and Sandra Oh. Currently playing at Burns Court Cinemas. Call theater to confirm. 1/2
THE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS MOVIE (PG) Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Yep, it's Nickelodeon's favorite son, that little ol' absorbent, yellow pop culture icon, making the leap from the living room boob tube to your neighborhood megaplex. There are a few snags along the way — the movie has trouble holding our interest for nearly 90 minutes, mostly owing to an overly conventional storyline (Spongebob and Patrick embark on a quest to retrieve King Neptune's crown) that tries too hard to mold itself for the big screen. Still, that patented blend of wide-eyed nonsense and gleeful anarchy remains pretty much intact and there are periodic bursts of absurd brilliance that make it all worthwhile (a pectorally gifted David Hasselhoff, and Spongebob and Patrick getting drunk on ice cream are only a few examples). The world of Bikini Bottom seems to work better in small doses, but any excuse to spend some time with Mr. Squarepants — the Pee-Wee Herman of his generation — is OK with me. Featuring the voices of Alec Baldwin, Clancy Brown, Rodger Bumpass and Bill Fagerbakke. 1/2