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Showtime (PG-13) Exactly what you might have imagined from the trailers, only with even less pizzazz. This lazily scripted, cookie cutter project teams Eddie Murphy and Robert De Niro as a pair of squabbling, mismatched cops who become the stars of a new reality TV show. Showtime throws in a sprinkling of lame jokes, a big car chase or two, and a routine subplot having something to do with a Eastern European baddie with a new armor-piercing gun, but the movie basically just seems to be treading water for its entire running time. (

Snow Dogs (PG) Cuba Gooding Jr. plays a Miami dentist who inherits a team of sled dogs, and must learn to race them or lose the pack to a grizzled old mountain man.

(Not reviewed)

Sorority Boys (R) Bosom Buddies/Some Like it Hot for the American Pie generation: Three guys get kicked out of their dorm and dress up in drag so they can live in a female sorority house. Stars Barry Watson, Harland Williams and Michael Rosenbaum.

(Not reviewed)

The Sweetest Thing (R) Even Cameron Diaz's considerable charm can't save this disjointed and extremely unappealing effort about a commitment-phobic party girl who meets Mr. Right. The Sweetest Thing awkwardly straddles the line between standard romantic comedy fluff and quasi-edgy American Pie-styled gross-out humor, and isn't particularly convincing as either. On one side we get remarkably unfunny jokes about maggots, fellatio-gone-wrong and a little old man who swears up a storm while wearing a T-shirt that says, Who Farted? On the other side, we get a steady infusion of sentimental cliches and routine female bonding, including Diaz and gal pal Christina Applegate dancing in their underwear to The Pina Colada Song. It's a mess. Also stars Selma Blair. Opens April 12 at local theaters

(

The Time Machine (PG-13) An utterly lackluster remake of George Pal's classic sci-fi movie (itself an adaptation of H.G. Wells' novel) , beefed up by some expensive digital effects, but lacking even the rudimentary charm and wit of the original film. Guy Pearce stars as a 19th century inventor who finds a way to transport himself to a future society where humanity has evolved (or degenerated) into two distinct and mutually antagonistic species. (

We Were Soldiers (R) Braveheart goes to 'Nam. Reuniting with Braveheart writer Randall Wallace, Mel Gibson stars as another heroic leader of men — Lt. Col. Hal Moore, a tough but fair career soldier who leads his troops into the first real battle of the Vietnam war. The movie is a little like a poor man's Black Hawk Down, with an unremarkable opening half-hour of human drama (in which we learn that Mel's character has a lively brood of five and a fashion-model-gorgeous wife), followed by one long, nonstop battle. We Were Soldiers alternates the carnage with periodic Big Speeches set to swelling, elegiac music (think Platoon) but the movie's pacing feels clumsy and the final effect is of a film that's not all that sure of itself. Also stars Chris Klein, Greg Kinnear, Sam Elliott and Madeline Stowe.(

Y Tu Mama Tambien (R) See Film.(

—Reviewed entries by Lance Goldenberg unless otherwise noted

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