Project Runway recap: From the altar, to the courtroom, to the runway

Before I go on, let me take you back to a simpler time: Steve's wedding dress debacle of Season 4. I had nightmares about that creation, full-on night terrors for months. Tonight is really no different except that, instead of one hideous dress made from pieces of a wedding gown, we got several. Choosing my least favorite was like someone handing me a box of roaches and asking me to eat the least disgusting one. In short, it was a rough week on the runway.


In my opinion, Carol Hannah (dress pictured above) is getting the shaft. That dress was exponentially better than anything else in the top three and yet she slid by in the middle group. Total crap.


Now for your bottom three -- Chris, Logan and Epperson (all pictured left). Clearly, the boys did not embrace this whole wedding challenge situation. Is it because men don't generally have experience with wedding dresses? Because men hate weddings? Because this particular crowd of men are not the best of designers? I think it's all of the above.

Chris is rocking what was referred to as a "space bubble," which is not great unless you are visiting Tomorrowland and as far as I can tell, they have no intention of going to Disneyland this season. Logan, oh Logan. I don't even know what to say, I just, I can't, I'm sorry, it's bad. Epperson, who is one of my least favorite contestants, came up with what Heidi felt was a little Oktoberfest but I see as a Kimono. Either way, gathering inspiration from different members of the UN is generally a poor decision.

[image-3][image-4]Your top three -- minuscarolhannahwhoshouldhavebeeninit -- is Gordana, Shirin (pictured left) and Irina (pictured right). Ladies represent!!!* These were all good dresses, but I really think that Shirin's did not deserve top three status. Was it all done for the drama of getting little Miss Attitude with bad fashion sense on stage? Probably. Irina's dress was a bit of a lace mess but I see their point -- age appropriate, classy, fine. Now, I am about to type something shocking so give me a moment to take it in (Insert moment here). I like Gordana's dress, like a lot. I know, I know ... I hate myself for saying it.

[image-5]And that brings us to tonight's winner, Gordana (pictured left) and I suppose I will take it with grace and dignity and say, "Good job Gordana." I still cannot understand much of what you say, but you did good. Congratulations or something like that.

But who goes home?! It could have been any of these boys in the bottom three or even Nicolas, but someone must be determined the worst. The judges chose Epperson and I don't quite agree, if we are only basing it on this one challenge. Logan's and Chris' were really really bad,  but they have shown us more depth in the past. Epperson was the right choice if we look at a body of work and a general understanding of the challenge. As I am not a judge (yet) I can't tell why they made this call, but I concur. Bye bye Epperson.

Next time on Runway: a Grammy-winning artist is the client. Who could it be?! Beyonce? Gwen? Madonna? Mariah?


Designers remaining: 8

Cry count: 9.5

Complete emotional breakdown: .5

Use of the word “Fierce”: 2

Check out all the looks at’s Rate the Runway.

*Ugh, did I say that?! I take it back, that is way lame.

Tonight is a night of weddings on my television: I am going straight from the Jim & Pam wedding on The Office to Project Runway, Wedding Edition. The difference? Runway is a little less "Yay, Love!" and a little more "Boo, Men." Good transition TV, though I feel all sorts of confused now.

So if you haven't seen the episode, because you live under a rock or lack basic cable or have something cool to do on Thursday nights, the challenge was to take the wedding gowns of their divorcee clients and make them useful for their new husband-free lives. To add a little more stress, because apparently polyester, lace and satin aren't enough, this is another one-dayer.

The only real "drama" this week came in the form of not one, but two cries. Gordana made the call home to the kids and burst into tears, which brings me back to my theory — either she is getting auf'ed or they are trying to make us like her more (only time will tell and ooooooh does it).

The second cry of the night belongs to Shirin (pictured left in a moment of depression that totally sums up this challenge) and it has nothing to do with her being accosted by another designer due to her incessant chatting and everything to do with her client wanting to look like a slutty, Cher-ish, peacock. I would cry too, cuz that is just real crazy.

Moment of the night: Tim's reaction to acetate. Sheer disgust.

Now, the Runway, where things get ... well, I said ", that's bad" a lot.

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