Rabid Satirica: Exactly what does Sarah Palin have in store for David Letterman?

The dressing room she had him cornered in was small but she backed him further and slammed the door behind her. “I am gonna make you pay for the disrespect you’ve caused me and my family. Now take those pants off.”


Sarah Palin intended to expose David Letterman’s perverted ways and beat him at his own game. If he wanted to lay in dirty gutters she planned to join him and expose him further. Plus, the wily vixen had been cooped up far too long. Always under the microscope, always monitored. And lord knows her husband wasn’t intent on satisfying her (God forbid another child be produced). And since so much attention was cast on this man’s jokes at her expense, she knew she had him where she wanted him.


Sure, he was a little bit older but he still recognized that tone. She may have shown up unexpectedly, and cornered him with a barrage of anger and bitterness, but this woman had just propositioned him.


“Um, maam I’m not sure I understand what you mean,” he managed to come up with.


The devious grin on her face told him she had no time for his stammering. She seductively removed the diamond crusted barrette from her silky hair letting it fall across her shoulders. He raised a hand to stop her but she ignored it and followed up by unbuttoning the top of her conservative blouse. She gave the gentlemen a wink, knowing he wouldn’t make the move. So as her milky breasts came peeking out, she stood on her toes and pressed her lips to his.


After a brief protest he finally relented and was giving her what she’d wanted for so long. Her expensive business suit was now more accessible, her skirt now much shorter. “Oh David, you’re so, so bad,” she groaned. He was too out of breath to correct her. Suddenly the heated exchange was interrupted as the dressing room door swung open. A shocked man stood there in it’s frame. It was only then did Palin realize her folly.


“Governor Palin what are you doing here?  And why are you having sex with Larry King?” asked the man in the doorway, David Letterman.


You can follow Rabid Nick on Twitter and find him here every Tuesday and Thursday


in the Sex and Love section of Creative Loafing.

“I am here to wash those dirty words straight out of your mouth sir,” she lashed out. After their war in the media Governor Sarah Palin had come to surprise David Letterman and get her sweet revenge. She showed up, unannounced, in a move to shock her prey. Her victim had no alternative but to stand there, mouth agape in shock. The angry Queen of Alaska, hair pulled tightly back, eyes blazing behind her studious eye glasses, would not relent.

“You know damn well the trouble you’ve caused and a woman of my position will not stand for it!”

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