Thinking about Tom Brady eating this banana

Of course, there’s no wrong way to eat a banana.

click to enlarge Thinking about Tom Brady eating this banana
Screengrab via Tom Brady/TikTok

Tom Brady—a 43-year-old human-shaped collection of Icelandic elderberries in a Tampa Bay Bucs uniform—is known for his stringent and unorthodox health routines, so it really should come as no surprise that he does not consume fruit the same way as all us pleebs.

In a recent TikTok video, the GOAT revealed to his fans a behind the scenes look at his daily “morning routine,” which seems to mostly revolve around shilling an arsenal of TB12 products, and showcasing luxury watches and sunglasses he currently has partnerships with. 

But, without a doubt, the best part of this clip is when he reveals what he puts into his morning shake. As you can see in the video, Brady’s liquified food contains plenty of the usual suspects—chia seeds, blueberries, some kind of TB12 powder, electrolytes and, of course, bananas with the ends ripped off for some reason. 

“I don’t eat the ends. Don’t tell anyone,” Brady joked. Surely, this is fine. 

Of course, there’s no wrong way to eat a banana. My toddler eats a banana by holding it like a watermelon slice and biting it directly in the middle. 

But there’s just too many questions that stem from eating a banana in this manner. For example, what’s in these banana ends? How does Brady eat a banana in a non-shake situation? Does he still rip the ends off? Is this normal? What competitive edge does a double circumcised banana contain?

I suppose only Brady knows, and that’s how you win seven Super Bowls, kids.     

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About The Author

Colin Wolf

Colin Wolf has been working with weekly newspapers since 2007 and has been the Digital Editor for Creative Loafing Tampa since 2019. He is also the Director of Digital Content Strategy for CL's parent company, Euclid Media Group.
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