My buddy Decker's 10:38 Saturday morning call went unanswered. But it did manage to rouse me from a heavy, booze-induced slumber that was so death-like that I later learned that multiple 4 a.m. phone calls and pounding on my bedroom window went unheard. Oh well. I called Decker back, and a superb plan was hatched for his fiancée Kristin and him to pick my ass up so we could attend Ribfest in St. Petersburg. I didn't give a damn about the bands on the roster, but I do love ribs the way other people are fond of small children and puppies. And Vinoy Park, especially this time of year, is always a fine place to pass the time on a Saturday.
We filed out of Decker's Beemer around noon and drained a beer each during the walk from our Old Northeast parking spot to Vinoy Park. Thanks to a brew I downed while in the shower — an experience I highly recommend for maximized relaxation — and a tall boy during the drive, I was feeling slightly buzzed and hungry when we arrived.
The PR person who met me at the entrance suggested we try the Australian BBQ Team's stand. He didn't steer us wrong. The ribs were fall-off-the-bone fabulous, as was the spectacle of a frolicking dolphin couple doing a nautical seduction dance several feet in front of our perch on the seawall that faces The Pier.
"You know dolphins are the only creatures other than humans that have sex for pleasure," Kristin said. She's a schoolteacher, so I figured she must be right. I doubt, though, that Kristin has passed that juicy info on to her elementary students. Anyway, her dolphin comment led to a long conversation about how much better dolphins have it than humans.
"They're probably looking up laughing at us," Decker said. "They figured out a long time ago to keep life simple."
On that note, Decker and Kristin re-hit the Miller Lite line while I visited Fat Fred's, where I purchased a full-rack rib dinner that rocked, especially the pork-laden beans. Our pal Justin and his girl Mandy met us on the seawall, along with our friends Julie and Liz, just in time to sample the sauce-covered, seared flesh. By the time Kristin wanted to leave our seawall HQ for some kettle corn, new country hottie, singing and fiddling sensation Natalie Stovall had taken the stage. The blond Tennessee babe blew the audience away with appealingly poppy twang originals and ace covers of "Fancy" and "Orange Blossom Special." Her adorable accent and the way she worked a pair of painted-on jeans made her performance extra memorable. In fact, I was so mesmerized by Natalie's corn-fed fineness I didn't notice the humongous dark cloud rolling over us like that alien spaceship in Independence Day. The rains came hard, fat and fast. We hunkered down under a palm tree and drank the Canadian Mist I had smuggled in. "You wanna just go?" Decker asked.
"Fine by me," I said.
We gathered the troops, waited for the rain to stop, temporarily, and hailed one of those human-propelled bicycle taxis. The dude had five of us in there and hauled ass. "Hey, slow down so we can enjoy the ride," I jibed. He let us out at Fresco's, where we met up with my old pal Billy and his girl Wendy. Billy, Justin and I attended the same Mormon church together as kids. The three of us had not sat down for a drinking session in ages. We decided we needed a dive with strong libations, so we went to Mastry's and got wonderfully sloshed. Especially Billy and I. He matched my rum-and-cokes with Crown-"and a splash of ginger ale" drink for drink. "How's your old man doing?" Billy asked again after the booze kicked in. "Give him a call, I want to talk to him." The next thing I knew, we were all at The Emerald, and now I, too, was guzzling Crown Royals with only the slightest hint of ginger ale — and my pops was there drinking with us. My memory gets pretty foggy from here on out. I do recall following one of our female friends into the ladies room, in front of my father, but am not exactly sure what transpired — something fun I believe.
Creative Loafing presents WineRave Art XTC
There'll be a DJ, and it's dubbed a rave, but rather than hoody-wearing teens popping disco biscuits and weirding everyone out with their glow sticks and pacifiers, WineRave Art XTC will find sophisticated party people getting their respective grooves on with a cornucopia of shirazes, pinot noirs, merlots, chardonnays, cabs rielsings, sauv blancs and more delectably spirit-lifting takes on the glorious grape. The bash will also feature specialty cocktails, appetizers and work by artists-in-residence at the West Tampa Center for the Arts, including painting, photography, sculpture, body painting and jewelry. CL throws a lot of events, and this is the one I'm probably most excited about. See you there. 8-11 p.m., Sat. Nov. 22, The West Tampa Center for the Arts, 1906 N. Armenia Ave., Tampa, tampa.creativeloafing.com/wineclub.
This article appears in Nov 19-25, 2008.