The fast food chain Carl's Jr. is doling out an experimental footlong cheeseburger to a few restaurants in their Southern California test market. Add this to the list of completely absurd, albeit deliciously intriguing, fast food items infiltrating American stomachs today. The KFC Double-Down, the quarter-pounder chili dog from Sonic, the Krispy Kreme bacon cheeseburger; this list is getting uncomfortably bloated (like us after consuming these monstrosities).
Apparently the footlong cheeseburger costs $4 or $4.50 with all the fixins (lettuce, tomato, onions. Wait, we have to pay for these things?). Reviews are already in. FoodBeast writes:
"The 12-inch burger is wrapped like a sandwich, and sticks out of most of the to-go bags offered up at the location, so it was definitely an interesting sight. I’m not sure how well the burger will fair, it’s basically just a few patties and ingredients mimicking a sub sandwich, which may end up not helping its overall appeal. The dough on the bread seems a little off, but the execution of the entire sandwich still remains interesting and I’m intrigued to say the least. As for the patty, it actually consists of smaller individual patties, instead of one larger piece (which may have earned it some more “craziness points“). Maybe they will make some modifications if they decide to roll this burger out nationally."
In the not-so-distant future, fast foot joints will slowly become novelty food joints where we go to masochistically destroy our insides for a few lunch breaks a week simply for the amusement of all our friends.
A profit-model based on human well-being? The fast food industry laughs at you. The future holds a profit-model based on the most convenient, wackiest, spiciest, stomach-ballooning foods possible. Mmmm. Smells American.
This article appears in Jul 8-14, 2010.