For the love of Levi, will someone please call Bennigan's and tell them the jeans that guy is pulling out of the dryer in their commercial are NOT button fly! Because every morning, as I'm trying to catch the weather and traffic reports on Channel 13, I see that freakin' spot about 37 times, and lately, when the singer croons, "I got my button flys out of the dryer," I find myself thinking about Elvis, and how he must have felt this same kind of spastic itch in his trigger finger every time he blew up a television. In fact, maybe that's why he was in the bathroom that morning, because he was out of bullets and needed some cool, quiet place to hide from the lilting, lying voices that were driving him bleeding-eyeballs CRAZY! OK, now that I have that out of my system, let's talk about going crazy in a manner that doesn't require institutionalization. Let's talk about Crazy Buffet, which calls itself "Tampa's First Upscale, All-You-Can-Eat, Japanese Buffet." Frankly, I wasn't at all inclined to visit this addition to the horde of Oriental buffets, because in my book, if you've seen one endless aisle of pot stickers, egg rolls and Jell-O, you've seen them all. But I was chatting with a local chef, a fellow of decidedly sophisticated tastes, about good, cheap eats, and he surprised me by saying, "Try the Crazy Buffet." That a fellow with an oft-indulged taste for French truffles and foie gras was recommending Crazy Buffet struck me as pretty crazy in itself. I had to check it out. The building is a former spaghetti joint of ho-hum reputation. Inside, the basic look remains much the same, the space divided into several rooms decorated in a sort of Disney-esque vision of Italian marble and molding, now with Oriental prints and track lighting thrown in. Hostesses give first-time visitors a tour of the buffet stations, pointing out the all-you-can-eat crab legs, the requisite lo mein, egg roll, pot sticker bar, the salad bar, sushi bar, dessert station and finally, what they clearly regard as their piece de resistance, the stir fry and grill station.
You'll be given a special ticket for the stir fry. Choose vegetables from the buffet, mark which sauce you'd like (Kung Pao, Szechwan, Teriyaki, Garlic, Oyster or Curry) and which protein (roast pork, beef, chicken, shrimp or calamari) set it before the chef, and in a few minutes, a server brings the cooked dish to your table. But here's the weird part: You can only have one dish stir-fried, but as many as you like grilled. The difference between the two was largely lost on me, and I didn't care for the quality or flavor of either dish, let alone pine for another pass-through.
Then I discovered the secret behind Crazy Buffet. The word "crazy" refers to diners who run for the crab legs and stir-fry. Sane diners head for the salad bar and sushi station where, by sticking to Japanese dishes, you can stuff yourself silly on, if not truly great, then at least good food for rather modest prices. I can blow 30 bucks on sushi and sashimi and walk away hungry, so the luxury of all-you-can-eat sushi knocked me out. Three chefs roll out a wide variety (from prepackaged fish — it's not high-end sushi but good daily fare).
The selections aren't consistently labeled, but sushi fans will easily recognize everything available. If sushi is new to you, here's a few guidelines. Look for a block of rice topped with a tan slice of deep-fried tofu, about 3 inches long and half an inch wide. It has a sweet, nutty flavor that will give you the courage to explore further. You'll easily recognize sweet, pink shrimp. Daintily ruffled slices, white on one edge, rosy pink on the other — that's octopus. Smooth slabs of solid, rosy pink stuff are tuna. Slices the color of oak with one dark edge — that's eel, a sweet treat. You'll also see rolls, like sushi rice rolled in a wide ribbon of dark green seaweed, sliced into coins and topped with bright orange mackerel roe. Try it for strong, fishy flavor.
Sprinkle soy sauce on cones of seaweed filled with rice, a variety of fish and julienne slices of vegetables. For the rest, take a tiny, rectangular sauce dish and a small bit of green wasabi paste to mix with soy sauce for a sushi dipping sauce. (A server will be glad to demonstrate. Rather than ask, the folks next to me used a butter knife to spread thick wasabi paste directly on sushi rolls, then said, "Huh! I don't see what all the fuss is about sushi. It's awful!")
You'll find the best dishes on the salad bar by trying anything Americans are passing up. I especially liked finely chopped Chinese cabbage ringed with slivers of dark green seaweed and sprinkled with rice vinegar, the cool cucumber salads with black olives and the julienne Asian vegetables, hot enough to make any chili head sweat. Order some sake (Momakawa Diamond, $5.95) for sipping and settle in for some serious grazing. For once, the voices in my head agree — this is our kind of Crazy!
Reader's Rave. Got a fave rave? Tell Tampa Bay about it. Fax the facts to 813-248-9999 or leave a voicemail at 813-248-8888, ext. 116. Include your name, the restaurant name and address, and the reason for your recommendation. Reader Douglas Nygren raves about the Uptown Deli, 658 Central Ave., St Petersburg (727-895-9267) where chef Scott puts his heart into preparing delicious deli sandwiches before heading off to his evening job, feeding the rich and famous at The Renaissance Vinoy Resort. Doug Nygren says the quality and prices at Uptown Deli are unbeatable. "I've been there eight times and ordered whatever was the daily special. Everything's been really good! You gotta try this place!"
Mmmm, sounds deli-cious!
This article appears in Jul 5-11, 2001.