Is sex like wine?

Rose Wines: Rose wines are strange and confusing.  Most rose wines come from red grapes that don’t fully turn red because the skins are removed. Roses can also be made while blending red and white wines together. People who drink Rose wine are a little strange and kinky in bed. It wouldn't be unusual for a rose wine drinker to get off while watching live church shows and having a threesome at a swingers club in Utah.


Red Wines:  Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Pinot Noir, Syrah--my favorites. With red wines you can’t lose. They go with everything, just like red wine drinkers. Red wines are dependable.  A red wine drinker will put out.  With them, you'll get what you're expecting and maybe more.  This person will be consistent.  This drinker will probably be agreeable to just about anything you want to do.


Sparkling Wines: These wines can come from white grapes or red grapes, and they contain carbon dioxide that occurs naturally during fermentation.  Look out for sparking wine drinkers because they're firecrackers in bed.  Just be prepared to go all night. Not only should the wine be served chilled, you might need to cool your partner off as well.


Dessert wines: White Zinfandel, Blush/Rose, and Rieslings can also make great dessert wines. These are high in sugar and can be made sweet in many different ways. People who drink these wines can be so sweet and do whatever to please you that in return you’ll want to do anything to please them.

Many articles try to correlate personalities with purchases: cars, pets, and clothes. Just for fun I'm going to correlate a person’s sexual personality with the type of wine they drink.

White Wines such as Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio/Pinot Gris, Rieslings, Sauvignon Blancs can be sweet, dry, or somewhere in between.  Sex with a white wine drinker can range from missionary sex to an SNM scene. This person is full of surprises. Have fun and look out.

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