Robert Irvine is More Ooze Than Schmooze

I've been pounding on this muscle-bound mook ever since he announced the name of his "future" restaurant in St. Petersburg. Something about his unrelenting tight-assed demeanor, pseudo-military appearance, pointy head, bad teeth and, well, let's face it, the fact that he works for the Food Network really rubs me the wrong way. Or it might be the name of the restaurants. Ooze and Schmooze? For fuck's sake.

I blasted the name (here and here), I questioned whether the restaurant would ever be built, I did everything but launch a full-fledged investigation into Robert Irvine's character as a businessman. That's why we have the St. Pete Times.

According to an article in the Times on Sunday, Irvine owes a bunch of people money, lied or exaggerated repeatedly in person, on his Food Network resume and in his book Mission: Cook!, and is sort of little and sad when cornered. And he impersonated a knight, which means the queen will be sending some beefeaters after Irvine's hide when she gets around to it.

Maybe I should feel bad for him, but why waste the glorious schadenfreude! And with Ooze and Schmooze still in the works, we might have Robert Irvine to kick around for months or years to come.

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