For most of us, camping is about boozing, bantering and guitar-strumming under the stars in some remote locale.
But at some point, food has to be involved.
This can make roughing it in the woods a bit of a challenge for herbivores. While our omnivorous loved ones can prep for their campfire meals by loading up on frozen hamburger patties, hot dogs, and associated bread products, a vegan might be inclined to say fuck it and load up on Clif Bars, trail mix and apples.
But that’s no fun. As our meat-eating counterparts fire up their respective minimalist meals, vegans can offer up some mean camp dishes of their own.
Pre-packaged burgers/dogs
The perfect option for those who’d rather spend more time choosing which beer to bring. Tofurkey makes a mean vegan sausage, vegan hot dogs are surprisingly killer, and there’s an insane variety of vegan burgers at most health food stores. (You’re kind of S.O.L. at Publix, though; while you’ll find tons of veg sausages and dogs near the produce section, they only offer one or two frozen veggie burgers that are actually vegan.)
Veggie hobo packs
Some, but not much, prepping is involved here. Simply pick your favorite veggies — a potato base is nice, with perhaps Brussels sprouts, red bell peppers, pine nuts, broccoli, etc. — and dice them up. Since potatoes take longer to cook, cut them in smaller pieces than the other stuff. And add garlic. Of course. Mix it all up in a bowl with olive oil and salt, and pour into double-layered sheets of tinfoil. Wrap ‘em up (make sure you seal them so none of the oil gets out) and toss ‘em on the fire for about 20 minutes. Voila.
Tofu skewers
Shishkebabs are a classic cookout food. We like to do ours with an interesting marinade — the more garlicky the better — involving sesame oil, sriracha and soy sauce in roughly the same proportions. The tofu should be cut into large cubes and accompanied by thick zucchini and yellow squash slices, red bell peppers, red onions and, if you must, button mushrooms (not our top choice, but if you like mushrooms…). Marinate for at least an hour, throw it on metal skewers and grill for about 10 minutes.
Grilled romaine lettuce
Cut romaine lettuce hearts in half. Combine garlic, olive oil, salt and pepper (to your taste) in a small bowl and brush each of the cut sides of the romaine with the mixture. Grill on medium low, cut side down for a minute, then flip and grill the other side for another minute (or whenever grill marks start to show). The website ThugKitchen recommends an avocado-lime dressing, but this stuff can stand on its own (or even with just a little extra-virgin olive oil drizzle on top).
Grilled pineapple
The perfect antidote to overly processed dessert treats. We recommend marinating fresh pineapple slices (not the canned shit) in a mixture of dark rum, sugar and lime. Grill until you see those grill marks.
This article appears in May 26 – Jun 2, 2016.