Fang Ratings:
5 fangs: Howl at the Moon
4 fangs: Slam Dunk
3 fangs: Roof-Riding Good
2 fangs: Teen Wolf Too
1 fang: Worse than Tony’s Liquor
First up, drinks. No Pabst Blue Ribbon. Bummer. Kojak’s, haven’t you heard? PBR is the official beer of summer! (Oh well, we’ll have plenty of the good stuff at Burgatory Fest.)
Our waiter seemed almost combative at times and immediately left a sour taste in Wolf-Fart’s mouth that he couldn’t seem to rinse out during the course of our meal. You’ve probably experienced it before — the hint that somebody has been doing something for too long and treats your questions with a bit of disdain, or maybe he was just a fan of our rivals the Dragons.
After a little back-and-forth we placed our orders. Nothing out of the ordinary on the menu at Kojak’s, so we stuck to the standards. Michael J. Wolf ordered the Bar-B-Que Combination dinner with pulled pork and ribs. Kojak’s is a House of Ribs after all, so we would be remiss not to sample their specialty meat. The ribs had a good texture and taste alone, and there were several sauces to choose from, including hot, mild, sweet, mustard or Carolina. As you probably can imagine, Michael is a sweet sort of guy, and he added the sweet sauce almost exclusively.
Wolf-Fart ordered the smoked hot sausage, which was far hotter than our waiter led us to believe. Not totally face-melting, but it definitely left an impression and nearly drew tears. Wolf-Fart is a sensitive beast and a creature of comfort, though, so you may want to take his words with a grain of salt.
As usual, our vegetarian teammate Rain-Wolf stuck to the sides. He ordered potato salad, green beans, parsley potatoes and corn on the cob. The potato salad was his favorite, and the corn on the cob tasted like, well, corn on the cob. He ended up adopting a sauce-on-the-cob strategy to spice it up, but was totally bummed by the taste of Kojak’s hot sauce.
The food came out surprisingly quick, which in hindsight might sometimes be a cause for concern. The portions were hefty. Even after another blowout victory on the court over the Dragons, the meals were nearly more than our appetites could handle.
To celebrate Michael’s birthday we each ordered the delicious apple cake, which is served appropriately with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and was the highlight of our dinner.
Kojak’s House of Apple Cake has a nice ring to it.
Kojak's House of Ribs
2808 W. Gandy Blvd., Tampa
813-837-3774, kojaksbbq.net
This article appears in May 14-20, 2015.