This past Friday, July 9, Vanilla Ice took over the stage at Tropicana Field after the Cleveland Indians stung the Rays with a victory. Unlike usual protocol for the Rays Concert Series, there were no wristbands, no VIP section, and anyone who attended the game was invited to hit the field afterwards to watch the show.
When I saw that Vanilla Ice was hitting the Bay area, I thought to myself, why not? I mean who doesn’t like “Ice, Ice Baby”? After some surfing online, I soon realized the man only had that one hit song, so I figured it might be a short show. Then my husband reminded me that he was also responsible for a track off Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze, so I was pretty stoked about seeing what Mr. Rob Van Winkle would do in action.
It turns out that Vanilla Ice was, indeed, “Too cold, too cold” as the performance ended up coming off as quite chilling. The man of the hour rode onto the field in a Ray’s logo-covered Hummer as the stage was set up and adorned with skeleton-ghost-clown type figures, including both props and people in costumes. The waiting crowd had rushed to the front at that point and most were drunk 20-somethings, though some were families with kids in tow who wanted a close-up glimpse of the man himself.
After a fog-machine intro, the artist appeared, the show began and the intensity of the crowd went up a notch. He opened his set with “Dirty South,” his harsh, no longer teen-friendly voice bounding and bouncing throughout the Trop, his angry, nonsensical lyrics keeping people’s attention, at least for the first few minutes.
I can’t lie, it was a pretty awful performance. Van Winkle's scruffy and scraggly voice made his already questionable-quality songs sound even more terrible. Half of the audience probably didn’t even know who Vanilla Ice was, let alone what songs he was famous for; and after a quick glance around the field, one thing seemed clear — the people who did know him were waiting to hear one song and one song only: “Ice, Ice Baby.”
To introduce "Ninja Rap" from the aforementioned film he contributed a song to, he admitted, “I still love the Ninja Turtles.” Loves them so much he changed the song. “Ice Ice Baby” got a Rob Van Winkle 2010 makeover, too, and not necessarily a good one. It was like he was trying to come off like a cross between ICP and Eminem with his dancing clowns and aggressive stage antics, which, among other annoyances, involved kicking water bottles all over the crowd.
And ironically enough, though his one hit was re-arranged, he still managed to get the “Ice, Ice Baby” hook into every song he played. During his actual performance of “Ice, Ice Baby” — reminiscent of nothing from the 90’s — he had girls ages 8 to 28 on stage being hosed down with water.
Vanilla Ice played a 45-minute set and in between every other song, he plugged his upcoming album and his website. He tried to be rough and tough and badass in his Hustler t-shirt, but he just ended up falling and it was a pretty disappointing night of music, overall. The dude produced two cult classics, but came off as way too cool to really go “Back to the Old School” as he called it.
Perhaps my expectations were too high (or perhaps I had some at all), but I wasn’t even entertained. I think my husband summed it up best: "At least we got to see the Rays. I mean, they lost and that was still the high point.”
This article appears in Jul 8-14, 2010.