Relive the glory of 2-4-1 white zins at Bennigan's when Michael Bolton plays Clearwater concert on Tuesday

Do you want your parents to rekindle the kind of love they had over 2-4-1 Beringer white zins at Stadium Bennigan's? A time when you could smoke inside restaurants, Michael Bolton's hair was long, and his voice was the soundtrack to their procreating?

Well, the smooth singer's luxurious locks may be gone (tell me, how are we supposed to live without those waves?) but his buttery vocals still remain. Bolton will be in Clearwater this week, so treat your mom and pops (or mom and her new beau) to a couple of tickets. And just when you thought you couldn't vom in your mouth anymore, check out the Grammy-award singer's "Jungle Cruise" ride operator sexified culturally-inappropriate cosplay in the '95 video "Can I touch you...there?". Hey, at least he asked for consent.