5 hilarious/terrifying laws the Florida legislature might pass in January

click to enlarge Y'all ready for some more freedom? - reddit.com
Y'all ready for some more freedom?

As we all know, the State of Florida is comic gold — from bizarre criminals to freaky wildlife. Equally as out-there — at times, anyway — is the work of those in the employ of our state government.

These are the guys that aren't allowed to utter the words "climate change" and are wont to open up the state's forests to hunting the likes of the Florida black bear.

So it shouldn't be too surprising that that the state legislature, which has its session in January next year (a couple months earlier than usual), is going to be taking up some bills that are real gems.

Here's a sampling:

Campus carry. 

Come this time next year, it could be fully legal to lug your (concealed) guns around campus, assuming you have a permit to do so in other places.  A bill allowing campus carry for concealed weapons permit holders (the third attempt of its kind) made it through various committees quite quickly (we're done with gun/bullet metaphors), and is likely to be seriously weighed in January. This is in no way a potential disaster or anything, considering college kids' knack for making good decisions. That is why university system officials aren't at all freaked out about it.

Open carry.

If college kids toting guns across the quad isn't a tad scary, perhaps firearms displayed visibly on one's person would. One proposal would allow gun owners — again, ones that already have concealed carry permits — to display their pieces for all to see. Nope, not at all menacing.

Public records.

A pair of bills would make it more difficult to sue over the withholding of public records requests, which could obviously be a hindrance to anyone who, say, is trying to expose corruption or something silly like that.


The year is 2015, almost 2016, yet somehow a contingent that thinks it's OK to mutilate the earth's crust is still hanging around the gene pool. Hence, there's a bill that would make it illegal for cities and towns to ban hydraulic fracturing, better known as "fracking." It's a process invoking dumping a bunch of chemicals that are capable of tearing up rocks into the ground in search of sweet, sweet fossil fuels.
There's also a bill to ban the practice, but we are going to go out on a limb here and say it's not going anywhere.

Religious "freedom".

Many Republicans were not happy with the U.S. Supreme Court's overturning of state-level bans on same-sex marriage over the summer, and some expressed their impotent rage by filing bills that protect clergy members from being forced to perform gay weddings, a protection that's already in existence but who cares because Jesus wants you to hate The Gays.

On the flip side of that, State Sen. Jeff Clemens (D—Lake Worth) filed a bill that would make "praying the gay away" illegal, another one his GOP colleagues are likely to not notice.

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