90210 has been turning people gay for years.

The original version, complete with adjective, premiered in 1990. It starred Jason Priestly, Jennie Garth, gay icon Tori Spelling (don't worry, Tor' — I don't think you're soo skinny), Mr. Megan Fox Brian Austin Green and, of course, Tiffani Amber "eat it, Kelly Kapowski" Thiessen. It ran for ten years, Y2k claiming at least one victim.

I knew I was hooked in grade school. I went into my fourth grade class, devestated and ready to discuss the previous night's episode — in which they'd killed Dylan's new wife and only chance at happiness — and my classmates thinking I was insane. They were watching Animaniacs, which I also loved, and were more interested in talking about Wakko's ever-so-dramatic belching.

I, like Dylan, was truly alone.

Like many fans, I was more than ecstatic when The CW announced the drama's modern version. 90210 premiered in 2008 and featured some young kids doing some young things. But who cared? Kelly was on it. And even Brenda!

My boyfriend was miserable. Still, I watched all of the first season and bits of the second. I had to know what happened with my Beverly Hills buddies. The show's third season premieres in September. I won't be tuning in, Kelly's gone, but it's been announced that one of the show's "straight" men may have grown up watching Tori Spelling in all of her hideous beauty. One of the characters is gay. Entertainment Weekly's Michael Ausiello reports:

This article appears in Jul 15-21, 2010.