A Perfectly Copacetic Election Day, Except . . .

In Putnam County, Jim Smith whipped Robbie Scholl for a Crescent City
commission seat, 176 to 175, which shows that Smith might have learned a
thing or two in the ol' back room, in that, in 2000, he lost a commission
seat by 1 vote. More seriously, though, Republican Vern Buchanan beat
Democrat Christine Jennings by less than 400 votes to win K-Hay's old U.S.
House seat from the Sarasota area, but for some reason, cue the eerie
music,
  there were more than 18,000 undervotes (people voting for other
offices but failing to vote in this tightly contested Congressional race)
when the statewide average would have predicted only about 3,000. Just be
thankful the U.S. House isn't split 217-217, or we'd have 2000 all over
again. [Florida Times-Union] [Sarasota Herald-Tribune via Tampa Tribune]

But Election Day Was Not Without Its Irony
The constitutional amendment to up the requirement for approving new
constitutional amendments from 50 percent-plus-1 to 60 percent
passed Ñ with 58 percent of the vote. And then the 30-yr-old son of
squeaky-clean U.S. Sen. Bill Nelson was pepper-sprayed and arrested for
roughing up a cop as he, totally wasted after celebrating the old man's win,
tried to drag down the street the suspiciously wasted woman he was with.
[Florida Times-Union] [Orlando Sentinel]

Reckless Dishing in the Stud-Dog Circuit
Fort Lauderdale dog-show judge Philip Martin has filed a libel lawsuit
against Orlando dog breeder Sandra Teague after Teague wrote on an Internet
forum that she'd "bet money" that he gave a "Winner's Dog" prize at a show
because the dog was sired by Martin's own Doberman, X-Static. Martin said,
Hey, X-Static is just a sperm-donor (and a good one, by the way), and I can't
keep up with all his bitches. American Kennel Club rules disqualify judges
only if they have a financial interest in a contestant, and Martin said that
once the semen changes hands, he's out of the picture. [Daily Business
Review
]

Floridians With Worse Sex Lives Than You
The former principal of St. Paul's Lutheran School in Citrus County was
arrested yesterday on three felony counts involving sex with a 15-yr-old
girl who had served under him, so to speak. According to the girl, he was
quite an operator. Once, after picking her up from the airport in Orlando,
he stopped on the side of the road and handed her his wallet, which had a
condom inside. Smooth! [St. Petersburg Times]

Your Daily Loser
Alvin Dean, 42, of Marathon, was stopped for speeding and then arrested for
possession of drugs and having a suspended license. Actually, "stopped" is
not the word; the place he was speeding in was the parking lot of the Monroe
County sheriff's station in Stock Island. [Associated Press via CBS News]

More Things To Worry About Today
A mother was arrested after her 2-yr-old son was found wandering the halls
at Miami's Stardust Motel, which was described as a "dangerous place,
particularly at night" (and you know that description's accurate because it
was given by the manager, Luis Carerra) [WPLG-TV (Miami)] . . . . . A
14-yr-old hit man (alleged, anyway) in Jacksonville, and apparently he was
good at it [FirstCoastNews.com] . . . . . Melissa Bennett, 27, was arrested
in Pensacola for commandeering a forklift and chasing two sheriff's
deputies, settling instead for smashing their cruisers [Associated Press via
WTSP-TV (St. Petersburg)
] . . . . . Also in Pensacola, a Boston University
professor spoke at a professional meeting about brain function, which
enabled us to learn that the city of Pensacola is home to something called
the Florida Institute for Human and Machine Cognition, and you can supply
your own punch line [Pensacola News Journal] . . . . . A Tampa city
councilman, trying to be more restrictive than thou in telling child
molesters where they can't live, winds up proposing boundaries that pretty
much rule out the whole city, except some well-to-do neighborhoods, so you
know where that's going. [Tampa Tribune]

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