A Short List How-To

In an effort to be a helpful pal, I have put together this handy Short


List how-to. Cut it out and keep it in your wallet if you like. It’s


really pretty simple:



Step One: Look around your immediate seating area for something funny


to create a Short List item about. Do you have access to a computer?


Good. I recommend trolling the news sites (CNN, TBO, St. Pete Times,


Google News, Drudge, etc.) for an interesting story. You know,


something that hits your gut as funny. How inappropriate is too


inappropriate? You make the call. As an example, here’s one I found


about air traffic control problems at Chicago’s O’Hare International


Airport. Yes, I have an interesting sense of humor.



Step Two: Come up with a catchy setup headline for your Short List


item. Something strong, clear and concise. For this near-miss story, I


suggest:



FAA probes third near-collision at Chicago’s O’Hare Airport this week



Simple, tells the story. Oh sure, CNN spun its wheels for paragraph


after paragraph of useless drivel, but that’s all you need. Three near


misses in a week. What the hell is up with that?



Step Three: Come up with a punch line. I know that many readers are not


joke inclined, but surely everyone can come up with a punch line. It’s


easy. Watch:



In my way of thinking, air travel is hopelessly linked to terrorism.


The connection is inescapable. This story isn’t about terrorism, but


it’s troubling because it seems to suggest that if the shoe bombers


don’t get you, good old-fashioned incompetence in the airline industry


will. So, you could go with something like:



Great, one more thing to worry about while on the tarmac.



Or perhaps:


Did someone outsource air traffic control to Dubai?



Step Four: take your newly created punch line, couple it with your


catchy (and in all caps to give it oomph) headline, and viola, you got


yourself a Short List item:



FAA PROBES THIRD NEAR-COLLISION AT CHICAGO’S O’HARE AIRPORT THIS WEEK


With Air Traffic controllers like this, who needs Al-Qaida?


And there you have it. Now you try. Outdo me in the comments section.


I dare you.

Short List Item Of The Day:

FAA PROBES THIRD NEAR-COLLISION AT CHICAGO’S O’HARE AIRPORT THIS WEEK

With Air Traffic controllers like this, who needs Al-Qaida?

***

We are looking for your help in coming up with items for the Weekly Planet’s Short List. The Short List, for those of you who either don’t know or refuse to scroll down, is meant as a quick comedic take on the events of the day. Local, national, international — whatever you like. We don’t care as long as you make it funny.

shortlist

Since the PoHo first solicited submissions to be posted to Blurbex’s comments section, we’ve had exactly one reader take a stab at it. (Thank you Michael Hussey, yours was a bold first try.) I can only assume that when asked to speak up, our readers were blanketed in abject fear. (We know you’re out there, people. We’re counting you right now.) I say get over it. There’s no reason to be bashful or afraid. We’re all friends here. 

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